Posts Tagged ‘transracial adoptive families’

May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

The merry month of May is upon us, which means it’s time for my annual plug for skin cancer awareness. I happen to be one of those very pale people whose skin blisters and sizzles with minimal sun exposure. I don’t step outside the house without sunglasses and a hat. Long sleeves? In a hundred degree weather, I wear ’em. Behind the wheel of a car, as soon as I buckle my seatbelt, I pull on driving gloves. Not because I fancy myself a superb driver, but because on the rare occasions when I don’t, half-a-dozen new freckles appear on the backs of my hands.

May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month, a joint venture of the American Academy of Dermatology and the American Cancer Society. New research suggests that up to 3 million Americans will be diagnosed with skin cancer this year. 

The most serious form, malignant melanoma, will kill about 8,420 people. Fortunately, malignant melanoma, like most skin cancers, can be cured if detected early. 

Fifty percent of fair-skinned Caucasians will develop skin cancer in their lifetime. Asians, Hispanics, Latinos, and African-Americans can also develop skin cancer. Sun damage begins in childhood and is cumulative. As parents, we can be proactive for our children by following the American Academy of Dermatology guidelines:

  • Seek shade
  • Wear protective clothing
  • Use sunscreen

The sun’s most damaging rays are present in the middle of the day, when our children are at school. Parents can work with schools by asking that health education programs include information on skin cancer awareness and protection. Parents can also make sure that shade structures are in place for lunch and outdoor activities.

My family wears sunscreen 365 days a year. We also wear hats. For stylish designs that offer excellent protection, check out Wallaroo Hat Company; Solumbra; and Coolibar.   

Finally, with increased sun exposure, dry white spots commonly found on the face, known as pityriasis alba, become more pronounced, especially on darker skin. Sunscreen helps keep skin tone even, and minimizes the contrast.

The skin is the body’s largest organ. Please protect it.

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Friday

Friday, March 18th, 2011

 The past few days have been hectic, beginning with the annual St. Patrick’s Day party at our church and ending with this moment now, as I stand at my kitchen counter writing a blog post, 40 minutes before I’m due to pick up Mateo from kindergarten. In between, I drove to Sacramento to meet with the book club of my great friend and fellow writer, Laura-Lynne Powell, whom I met through Writing Mamas, the writing group sponsored by Book Passage. (How’s that for back story?) Laura-Lynne’s book group has been meeting for 15 years, dating from when Laura-Lynne met one of the other moms on a playground. Last night, they were planning the wedding of one of their daughters, so you know they have a history.

Based on my recent experiences, I’ve decided the most fabulous women in the universe belong to book clubs. Really, I must join one immediately! And I love how the groups seem to meet forever—beginning with babies in diapers and continuing through middle school, weddings, and beyond.

Two of the women in the group are adoptive mothers–Laura-Lynne included, which may explain why we bonded quickly–so the conversation centered largely around our collective experiences. The other women asked great questions”– “Why Guatemala?”, “How do your children react to having a relationship with birth family?” and “Were you ever afraid?” among them—and we adoptive mothers did our best to fill them in. The more I meet with people to talk about Mamalita, the more I realize that a big part of my mission in life is to “normalize” adoption. As one mother pointed out, adoption has been with us at least since biblical times. The story of Moses, anyone?  There is no reason why the subject should be shrouded in mystery and shame.

Unfortunately, I forgot to take pictures, so I have none to post here. However, on my way home, I did stop by Davis, California, an absolutely charming university town, where I discovered the U.S. Bicycling Hall of Fame, and snapped a shot. I also stopped into the Yolo County Public Library to ask the librarian if she would consider adding Mamalita to the collection. I explained the book is circulating in the Marin and San Diego county systems, before giving the librarian copies of the book’s great reviews in Publishers Weekly and Kirkus. Fingers crossed that Mamalita will be added to the shelves. If you live in Yolo County or surrounding environs, please ask for Mamalita at your local branch. I hope you enjoy the read!

On to kindergarten pick-up!

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Mamalita good news

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

When you work on something as long as I worked on writing Mamalita, you develop little incentives to keep yourself going–at least I did. One incentive that motivated me a lot was the hope that someday, somewhere, someone might read our story and react with: “This book has made me think about adoption in a different way.” If that were to happen for even one reader, I would consider my efforts a success.

Today, Paty LQ posted a blog in which she speaks about how Mamalita did exactly that. She picked up the book at Upstart Crow in San Diego, and read passages from it to her husband. Soon after, they came to my presentation at the Santee Public Library, where we chatted about adoption and my experience with it. That same day, they filed foster-adoption paperwork with the County of San Diego. Paty writes:

Until the moment before I started reading the book I felt that parents looking to adopt were victims of a complicated system.  I felt that the system had become a business and that you had to be very careful of people who will try to take advantage of you.  I felt like when I was planning our wedding and all those vendors tried to take advantage of us, and we had to haggle.  Somehow this felt worst, we were talking about a child (life).  I felt that as potential adoptive parents we were doing a great thing and that people working in adoption should take that into consideration.  While some of the things I mention before I still feel are truth, my eye opener was the other side of the story, the mothers that give up their children to adoption.  This part of the story in the book no longer made me feel as a victim.  My feelings started shifting from unfortunate to blessed.  Now I feel grateful…  My husband and I are thinking about having an open adoption.   (more…)

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Really brother and sister

Monday, September 27th, 2010

 

It happened again on Saturday morning, after Olivia’s ballet class. A woman I have never met before, the mother of another dance student, saw me with Olivia and Mateo, and out of nowhere asked, “Are they really brother and sister?” 

I gulped and took a deep breath, after which I smiled and replied, “They are now.” 

This particular question is the one I get asked most often by all kinds of people—from strangers in the grocery store to teachers in my children’s classrooms—and the one to which I still haven’t found the correct answer. I’ve heard other adoptive parents recommend saying, “Why do you ask?” or “They’re not biologically. But otherwise, yes.” Although both of those options seem like good answers, I haven’t yet found a way to make them trip off my tongue. 

I know people ask the question out of interest and curiosity, but I have to admit, it’s the question that unsettles me the most—even more than the inevitable, “Are you their ‘real’ mother?” Why? Because it undermines my children’s relationship to each other. I imagine Olivia thinking, “If this guy who torments me at mealtimes, steals my toys, and borrows my markers without permission isn’t my real brother, then who is he?” Or I see the thought bubbles in Mateo’s head: “Only a big sister would protect me on the playground, show me how to jump rope, and sleep in the top bunk of my bunk bed, right? That’s what I was told, anyway.” 

Regardless of whether or not they have other, biological, blood-related siblings, Olivia and Mateo are “really” brother and sister. That’s what the institution of adoption does—it creates families. It makes me my children’s mother and my husband my children’s father. And although Olivia and Mateo were born in two different parts of Guatemala to two different birth mothers, they are, and will forever be, “really brother and sister.”

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