Posts Tagged ‘Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir’

Save the Date for “Upstart Crow”

Friday, September 3rd, 2010

I’ve added another venue to my upcoming Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir book tour: Upstart Crow in beautiful downtown San Diego. The date is Wednesday, November 17 at 7 p.m. If you live in the southland, hope to see you there.

I have my bicycling friends to thank for this one: My former neighbor and fellow Crown City Cyclist (a San Diego bike club), Marcia Banks, told another Crown City cyclist, Carola Esquino about Mamalita. Turns out that Carola is a manager at Upstart Crow. This past summer in San Diego, when Tim rode with the club, she offered to chat with me about a possible reading. Long story short, we set the date.

If you haven’t yet been to Upstart Crow, you are in for an idyllic bookstore experience. The place is charming, cozy, and friendly, with excellent coffee, delicious baked goods, and a tremendous selection of books. With validation, you can get two hours of free parking, too–always a bonus in California.

As a former English major, I should have known the origin of “upstart crow,” but, I confess, I didn’t. The term refers to none other than William Shakespeare. In 1592, the university-educated poet and playwright, Robert Greene, called Shakespeare, then an actor and up-and-coming playwright, an “upstart crow,” implying that Shakespeare had no business believing he could write as well as the “university set.” History sure has proven Mr. Greene wrong on that one (“Robert who?”). Read the whole fascinating story on this Shakespeare website.  

As a side note: I first heard the name of our daughter, Olivia, in high school, when I played the character from Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. I’ve loved the name, and Shakespeare, ever since. It’s another reason I’m thrilled to be speaking at Upstart Crow.

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Back from Guatemala

Monday, August 30th, 2010

What have I been doing since we returned home from Guatemala? Like a lot of parents around the country, filling out forms for back to school. And very little else! That’s not entirely true. I’ve also been trying to get myself back into the swing of preparing for the launch of my book, Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir. (OH YES, THAT!!) November 1 will be here before I know it, and there’s still a lot to do. I’ve been working with someone on a book trailer—similar to a preview for a movie, but for a book—and I’m happy to say we’re close to agreeing on a final script. Most of the time, writing is solitary, so it’s been a new experience to collaborate with someone else for a change. I like it.

Mateo is now riding a two-wheeler. Sad to say, this milestone occurred while I was in Guatemala with only Olivia. Tim said the progression was easy. Mateo asked Tim to take off the training wheels, and Tim did. The next thing Tim knew, Mateo was zipping across the playground, his two little legs a blur. This past weekend, Mateo and I spent the better part of Saturday and Sunday afternoons riding together. Anyone who knows how much I love to bike will understand how pleased I am to share this activity with my son. Already I’m envisioning the two of us doing RAGBRAI, a seven-day pedal across the flatlands of Iowa. We’ll have to settle for a few loops around the neighborhood first.

Both kids love their new teachers at their new schools and are beginning to make new friends. As of this writing, Olivia has abandoned violin. At her new school, we ran into the music teacher and he mentioned a percussion group that meets weekly. Percussion. Doesn’t that mean drums? Haven’t yet made up my mind about that one. In the meantime, I’ve enrolled Olivia in ballet. As some of you know, my mother, Olivia’s grandmother, is a former Radio City Music Hall Rockette. She owned a dance studio while I was growing up, where I and many girls in our neighborhood took lessons.

Naturally–or as my mother would say, “Natch”–Mom and I are beyond thrilled to see Olivia in a tutu. I’ve told Mom that she and I better curb our enthusiasm, lest we become the twin “Stage Mothers to End All Stage Mothers.” For me, I confess, that could happen. I’m doing my best to stay cool, at least until recital time.

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Kirkus Reviews: Mamalita

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

My publicist at Seal Press, Eva Zimmerman, forwarded me this advance review of Mamalita  from Kirkus Reviews. The Mamalita publication date is November 1, 2010. To order your advance copy, click on the “Book” tab on the Mamalita site.

From Kirkus Reviews:

“‘I’ve never given birth,’ writes O’Dwyer, ‘but I know the exact moment when I became a mother: 10:00A.M., September 6, 2002’—the moment she and her husband sat in a hotel lobby, awaiting the infant girl they hoped to adopt. Yet this celebratory moment was soon overshadowed by the corrupt Guatemalan adoption system. The author recounts her initial naiveté, how she and her husband shelled out vast amounts of money to adoption facilitators and notarios in order to assist them in wading through the red tape of a foreign adoption. Yet nearly two years and thousands of dollars later, O’Dwyer and her husband remained no closer to their goal. Rather than continue her transcontinental flights, the author quit her job and moved to Antigua to focus on her daughter’s adoption full time. This decision led her into the dark side of adoption, a seedy terrain in which she was forced to weave through the barbs of a system set up to exploit the most money and resources from potential parents. Armed only with her elementary-level Spanish, she was forced to rely on a small band of trustworthy Guatemalan officials and potential American mothers struggling through the same experience. Her obsessive quest was constantly hampered by paperwork, signatures, DNA tests and countless other bureaucratic pitfalls. But despite the tragic circumstances, the optimistic author tells a hopeful tale in which she viewed every procedural misstep as a step leading her closer to her daughter.”

“A scathing critique on a foreign adoption system and the harrowing account of one woman’s attempt to fight it.”

Kirkus Reviews

http://www.kirkusreviews.com

http://www.kirkusreviews.com/about/history/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirkus_Reviews

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Buses and a trip to Nimpot

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

One of the first things I noticed when I came to Antigua in 2003 was the buses. They are rehabilitated Blue Birds, the school buses I rode when growing up in New Jersey. But here, each is individualized, painted by a specific artist. When Olivia and I lived in Antigua, we woke every morning to the sound of the conductor calling all commuters enroute from Antigua to the capital, “Guate, Guate! Guatemala!” We came to love the rhythm of those words. The buses seem so emblematic of Guatemala, that I chose a detail from a bus painting by Oscar Peren as the banner of my blogsite.

The photo above is of Olivia’s favorite store, Nimpot. It’s located on Fifth Avenida, right past the famous arch. This store has everything: masks, huipils (embroidered blouses worn by Guatemala’s indigenous people), weavings, jewelry, carved wooden santos, and even mini-Maximons, the patron saint of bad habits. (more…)

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A hotel lobby story

Sunday, July 25th, 2010

Like many adoptive parents of children born in Guatemala, I have my own “hotel lobby story.” Why a hotel lobby story? Because a hotel lobby is where I held each of my babies in my arms for the very first time.

In 2006, deep in the struggle to write Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir, I attended a writing workshop led by Joyce Maynard at her home in San Marcos, Guatemala. I knew the arc of my story. I had lived it. But what was my point of entry? Was it the moment my doctor informed me I’d never have children? Or did it happen during the five-day, 400-mile bicycle trip I took over Christmas 1998, when my now-husband Tim said he was open to the idea of parenthood through adoption? At Joyce’s workshop, another writer, Andi Sciacci, who also teaches writing, asked me a very simple question. She said, “Where does the story start for you?”

I had found my opening scene. (more…)

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Mark your calendar

Saturday, July 17th, 2010


If you’re like me, you plan your schedule months in advance. That’s the plan anyway. 

With that in mind, I’m letting you know that the book launch for Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir will take place at my favorite indie bookstore, Book Passage in Corte Madera, California. The date is Saturday, November 13, 2010, at 7 p.m.

 Hope you can be there!

 By the way, if you live in a community with adoptive families who might be interested in a book reading, please let me know. I’d be honored to arrange one in your area.

P.S.: The photo is of me reading a piece I wrote about Mateo’s wonderful preschool at his graduation. My sister, Deanna, took the photo. (Thanks, De!)

Book Passage: 51 Tamal Vista Boulevard, Corte Madera, California 94925 / (415) 927-0960 or (800) 999-7909

http://bookpassage.indiebound.com/store-locations-hours

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Kids in a [fill in the blank]

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

After the Fourth of July parade, as we drove down the main street in Coronado, Mateo spotted a candy store through the car window. Ever since then, he has asked, about once an hour, to go. 

Being a conscientious mom, I explained all the reasons we shouldn’t, including tooth decay and sugar bugs, and the disappointment sure to be felt by his dentist, whom we are scheduled to visit next week, after we return home to San Francisco. To strengthen my argument, I did what I always do when Mateo is relentless is his jonesing for sweets: I opened my mouth to show him my back fillings. “This is what happens to people who eat too much sugar,” I said. “Cavities.” 

But we’re on vacation and it’s a candy store. What kid can resist that? 

So I made a deal. If they ate breakfast and got themselves dressed, hung up their beach towels and put their clothes in the laundry, brushed their teeth and got in their pajamas—all things most kids do anyway, but that’s another story—maybe we might go to the candy store. We’ll see. 

On Tuesday afternoon, we went. Olivia, who doesn’t even like candy, saw the bins filled with every magnificent color and shape of sugar and carbohydrate, and literally danced with joy. Mateo scooped samples with both fists. As I watched them dart from pecan turtles to chunky fudge, I realized there’s a reason why the expression “kid in a candy store” has been passed down throughout the ages. 


Twenty minutes later, we left with each kid clutching a bag of treasure. Out on the sidewalk, they skipped a few steps ahead of me, close enough that I could hear them discussing the details of their stash. I pretended not to notice they had already broken their promise not to eat a single piece before dinner.

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Mamalita

Saturday, May 22nd, 2010

Every time my husband travels and I’m home doing everything myself, I realize two things: First, how much my husband actually does around here. And second, how hard it is be a single parent. To anyone who is rearing a child or children alone, for whatever reason, I say: My hat is off. You have my respect. Single parenting is not easy. 

Tim is back now and I can finally take a breath. Yesterday, I took myself to see the new movie about adoption, Mother and Child. Talk about intense. The film showed adoption from multiple points of view: birth mothers, prospective adoptive parents, related family members, and the child who is adopted. The story and performances were so believable that in many parts the film was hard for me to watch. The movie drove home the complexity of adoption—the deeply felt loss and pain, and how that coexists with joy and new life. Many scenes will remain with me for a long time. I recommend Mother and Child to anyone with an interest in adoption. Go prepared to be affected.  (more…)

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The Pages on My Desk

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

The copy-edited pages of my manuscript, Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir, are sitting on my desk in a box, waiting for me to read through them again for any changes and approval. I worked on the book for five years, but haven’t looked at it since my agent, Jenni Ferrari-Adler, and I made final revisions and sent it off to a list of editors in May 2009, holding our breath that one of them would accept it for publication. In July 2009, Seal Press did.  Jenni called me on my cell phone with the news as my family and I drove down the 5 freeway to San Diego. Looking out the window as as I listened to her relay the details, I felt my future was as wide and limitless as the farm lands of Central California. Selling a book for publication had been my dream for as long as I could remember, and it was finally coming true. The photo above was my view as I heard the news. (more…)

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Trip to Guatemala

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

No matter how many times I return to Guatemala, I´m never prepared for how strong my reaction is. Excitement mixed with anxiety, as if I´m about to relive our adoption experience from seven years ago. For my daughter, Olivia, the reaction is much more straightforward. When we landed at Aurora International Airport, she looked out the window and said, “This is my country.” Olivia is American now, but Guatemala will always be home.

I´m so grateful we have the opportunity to visit.  It´s ¨Ski week¨ in California, so schools are closed. We´ll be in Guatemala City, Panajachel and the Lake Atitlan region, then a few days in Antigua, where I lived with Olivia for six months during 2003 when she was a baby and our adoption was taking what felt like forever. I wrote a book about the experience, MAMALITA: AN ADOPTION MEMOIR, which will be published by Seal Press this November.

Guatemala´s weather is nearly always perfect in February, just as it is today.  A glorious beginning to a week in my favorite country.

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