Posts Tagged ‘Guatemalan adoption’

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Dillon International’s Guatemala Heritage Weekend, and Antigua.

Thursday, March 22nd, 2012

This weekend, Mateo and I will travel to Tulsa, Oklahoma, where I’m speaking at Dillon International’s Guatemala Heritage Weekend. I’m honored because Dillon is one of the nation’s oldest, most established adoption agencies, whose stated mission is “providing the best lifetime of care for each homeless child we are privileged to serve.” Mateo is thrilled, too, because he will get to play with friends he met last summer at MOGUATE, a confab of families with children born in Guatemala which was founded by the amazing Cindy Swatek (below left), and held annually in  Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri.

In fact, it was another mother from Moguate, Susan Carter (below, far right), who recommended me to the folks at Dillon. (Susan managed the mercardo at Moguate, where, I confess, I undoubtedly numbered among her best customers.) So, as you can see, the world of adoption from Guatemala is small, and every day, gets smaller.

Which I view as a great thing!

Example: In February, my sister, Patrice; Olivia, and I made our annual trek to Guatemala to visit with Olivia’s birth family and experience her beautiful birth country. We’ve done this for the past several years–read a few accounts here and here and here— and each year the trip has been special in its own unique way.

Unique about this trip is that for the first time ever, we met up with two other adoptive families, whom I had met in Boston during my Mamalita book tour. Sharing the experience with the other families–Carly, Christina, and their husbands and kids–made our usual wonderful experience even more so. The kids bonded instantly, and we grown-ups did, too.

I cherish my connections formed through adoption, not only to my children’s birth country and their birth mothers and siblings, but to other adoptive families, too. E.M. Forster once famously said, “Only connect.” If you’ve connected with me in any way through adoption, please know how grateful I am for your friendship. Wherever you live, I hope you’ve also found a community.

See you in Tulsa!~

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Craig Juntunen on Huffington Post

Thursday, March 15th, 2012

On March 13, Craig Juntunen, founder of Both Ends Burning, posted a pro-international adoption essay on Huffington Post, “We Need to Help Orphans Find Families.” If you’re reading this now, you probably know where I stand on this issue: I agree with Craig, so much so that I wish I had written these words myself:

Instead of letting this conversation get swept away in politics, let’s start with the universally accepted fact that institutionalization is an emotional — and sometimes a physical — death sentence for a child. During my travels to Haiti, I met Roberson, a 13-year-old boy who maintains the social, emotional and physical well-being of a 6-year-old. Roberson is unfortunatelyonly one of millions of orphans worldwide that fail to develop critical human functions due to institutionalization.

If we aim to save Roberson and other kids like him from a life behind the bars of institutions, we have to fix the international adoption system. Far too many eager families are simply deciding not to adopt because the system has become so burdensome. Today, the average wait for adoptive families to welcome their children home is 33 months, and costs average $25,000.

Leadership is the answer for these kids, but unfortunately, there is no sense of urgency among those who hold the power to make the necessary changes. For every Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA) and Senator Dick Lugar (R-IN), who relentlessly pursue justice for these children, there are many others who are content to let The Hague be their excuse for doing nothing.

There must be a way for us to improve the adoption environment without sacrificing safeguards and child welfare. We need to focus on getting kids safely out of institutions, in part by streamlining the time and cost of international adoption. If we can all agree that these children’s lives matter, then why aren’t we doing something to give them a better chance of realizing the dream of joining a loving family?

I share Craig’s frustration. Adoptions from Guatemala to the US closed in December 2007. Since that time, more than 300 cases remain unresolved, and thousands of children remain living in orphanages. And that’s just one country of hundreds.

Where is the leadership?

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Soccer jerseys from Guatemala. Order yours today!

Monday, March 12th, 2012

 

Help your kids show their birth-country pride by giving them a genuine soccer jersey from Guatemala.  Not only will you put a smile on your little one’s face, you’ll also help www.behrhorst.org, best known around here for their commitment to clean water for all people in Guatemala. 

Here’s the deal. For $25 , adoptive mom Sonya Fultz will buy a shirt and mail it to you on March 28th. That covers the cost of the shirt and the shipping–and leaves a little left over, to be donated to Behrhorst.  Everybody wins!

Mail your $25 check to “Friends Through Guatemalan Adoption” (local Cincinnati adoptive families group) at 939 Sleepy Hollow Drive, Monroe, Ohio 45050.

Please include the following information when you mail your check:

  1. Your mailing address if different from the one on the check.
  2. Your email address, in case Sonya has questions.
  3. Size of the shirt you want (2T/3T; youth 4-6; youth 8-10; youth 12-14; adult small, adult medium, adult large).

But you must act soon. Your check needs to arrive in Ohio by March 20th so Sonya knows the final count before leaving for Guatemala.

Thanks so much!

GOOOOOOOO-AAAAAAAA-LLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

 🙂

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Certificate of Citizenship, now more than ever

Friday, January 6th, 2012

The recent news story about a 15-year-old Dallas, Texas teen who was deported to Colombia after giving immigration officials a false identity reinforces the importance of obtaining a Certificate of Citizenship for any child who is adopted internationally. If your child was admitted to the United States under an IR-3/IH-3 visa, you should receive a Certificate of Citizenship automatically within 50 days. If you didn’t receive a Certificate of Citizenship within 50 days, or if your child’s name has changed, you will need to fill out a Form N-600. I won’t try to walk you through the process, but I will post a few helpful links from US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS):

Overall explanation of Certificate of Citizenship for your Internationally Adopted Child

Adoption Based Forms

Application for Certificate of Citizenship (Form N-600)

Application for Replacement of Naturalization/Citizenship Documents (Form N-565)

While you’re at it, you can also apply for a Return of Original Documents by filling out the G-884. The process can take months or years–I won’t bore you with my number of go-rounds before the CD containing the information arrived–but believe me, the reward of a complete adoption file is worth it. And, unlike almost every other form you’ve filled out, this one is free. ~

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Merry Christmas and Season’s Greetings~

Saturday, December 24th, 2011

 

Christmas is still a magical time for my children, and I hope it always stays that way. We’re lucky to be spending the holiday with family in San Diego–my parents, all five of us siblings, nieces, nephews, friends, and significant others.

I’m enough of a realist to know that days like these don’t come often, so I’m cherishing each and every moment.

Sending you warm wishes for a joyful winter season. ~

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Adoptive dad Gil Michelini’s book, “Daddy, Come & Get Me”

Friday, December 16th, 2011

As a first-time author, I know how difficult it can be to convince the world to notice a new book by an unknown writer. Thus, when my fellow adoptive parent and Facebook friend, Gil Michelini, asked me to read his personal account of adoption from Guatemala and post about it, I quickly agreed. Gil and his wife, Fran, were biological parents to three daughters when Gil felt his calling to adopt. The book Gil wrote about the experience, Daddy, Come & Get Me (Emiliani Publishing), traces the couple’s journey to become parents to the girl they named Gemma. Gil describes Daddy, Come & Get Me as “the first memoir of an American dad’s adventure following his calling to adopt a daughter from Guatemala.”

Daddy, Come & Get Me is available as a physical book ($14.95) as well as in the Kindle ($2.99) and Nook ($2.99) formats.  For details, visit Gil’s website www.DaddyComeAndGetMe.com and select a vendor from the ones listed across the top of the page, or order through your local bookstore. Please note: Daddy, Come & Get Me contains strong religious themes.

Recently, I caught up with Gil to ask him a few questions about his story and the writing process.

What gave you the idea to write your book?

I knew when we brought Gemma home that this was a story that had to be told. The only problem was that the Gil I was at the time was not a person who could tell it through this medium. I had to be humbled and clear out a lot of my baggage I had been carrying around. Five and a half years after bringing Gemma home, I was finally the right person to start this project.

Holding Daddy, Come & Get Me is a thrill because I struggled with the basics of the American language while in school. Writing a book was a lifelong dream. (more…)

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Article from India discusses relationship between surrogacy and adoption

Monday, December 12th, 2011

I believe family-making is an intensely personal choice. What’s right for me may not be right for you, and vice-versa. For some people, IVF, embryo or sperm donation, or surrogacy makes sense. For others, private adoption where a birth mother chooses the adoptive parents is the right choice.  Some 114,000 children are available for adoption through US foster care. That process best-suits many. It’s crucial that individuals know what makes sense for them, so they are able to be the best parents they can be to their children. If international adoption feels like the right choice, as it did for my husband and me, so be it.

Having stated that caveat, I’m posting a link to “Why Surrogacy Doesn’t Need a Celebrity Role Model,” by Lakshmi Chaudhry on the India-based website Firstpost. Chaudhry discusses the actions of Aamir Khan and his wife, who opted to discuss publicly their choice to add a child to their family through surrogacy.

The article interests me because it touches on the relationship between surrogacy and adoption, and how the increasing numbers of the former correlate to the decreasing numbers of the latter. In no way am I advocating for one method of family-making over another; nor am I excusing corrupt practices in either. I’m simply noting the relationship between the two.

Chaudhry writes:

Surrogacy satisfies the natural urge for a biological child that is genetically our own. Medical science now offers surrogacy as a last resort option for couples who may have remained childless. More importantly, it is also becoming a choice for couples who would have otherwise chosen to adopt. The number of surrogacy-assisted births are growing worldwide even as the numbers for adoption are on the decline.

In recent years, responding to cases of child trafficking and kidnapping, governments across the world have cracked down on inter-country adoptions. This laudable effort, however, has had an unintended effect, as reproductive health expert Karen Smith Rotabi notes:

With this new system, combined with problems like the recent adoption scandals in Russia and other nations, inter-country adoption has undergone radical decline and it is no longer the opportunity it once was for building families. In the US, the practice peaked in 2004 with 22,990 children sent to the nation as adoptees as compared to only 12,753 in 2009. As adoption has become more difficult, the global surrogacy industry has begun to surge to meet the fertility demands of individuals and couples seeking to secure healthy infants.

As a result, nations like India and Guatemala are instead becoming surrogacy destinations, where it is now far easier to rent a womb than to adopt a child.

Add to this the strict adoption procedures in the West, and you have increasing numbers of foreigners turning toward surrogacy as a quicker, less burdensome option. (more…)

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Crazy California Claire and a Mamalita book giveaway

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

For the past few days, I’ve been in New Jersey for my high school reunion, and to speak at my alma mater and another high school about adoption, Guatemala, and memoir-writing. Each of those elements deserves an essay, but right now, I’m catching up on subjects I meant to post about days ago, before the hubbub of Thanksgiving  and the subsequent cross-country trek.

One subject I must note is this great review of Mamalita on the blog Crazy California Claire. “Claire” is Claire Hennessy, fellow Writing Mama and good friend. That’s Claire in the photo above; you can see in her face that she’s full of laughter. I recommend Claire’s blog not only because she’s giving away free copies of Mamalita, but also because Claire is a very funny writer whose essays I love to read myself. Currently, Claire is penning a memoir about being a British woman who, after a 30-year separation, married her boarding school sweetheart and moved “across the pond” to Marin County, California, which is where we met. Like everyone else who knows Claire, I eagerly await her book’s publication. I guarantee the read will be delicious.  To enjoy more of Claire’s work, visit the Writing Mamas website and search for her name.

Thanks for the shout-out Claire! ~

http://clairehennessy.blogspot.com/2011/11/new-author-blog-hop-book-giveaway.html

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Affording Adoption Foundation

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

This past August, Tim, the kids, and I attended Moguate, a camp for adoptive families with children from Guatemala, in Lake Ozarks, Missouri, founded by one Cindy Swatek. I met Cindy through cyberspace: we’re both adoptive moms, and Cindy had sent me a nice note after reading my book, Mamalita. Later, she invited me to speak to the group at Moguate, which I did.

Everything about Moguate was wonderful—the other families, the resort, the mercado, the friendships among our children—but perhaps the most amazing element of all was Cindy Swatek herself. That woman is a powerhouse. Cindy possesses the same qualities as the rest of us—personality, energy, and a love of life—but to a power of ten. Make that a power of a thousand. After spending five minutes in a room with Cindy, I realized, “This woman can do absolutely anything she puts her mind to.” Cindy is a tornado and a hurricane, at the same time she is a blissful, cloudless, sunny day. And also very funny.

Last year, Cindy and her husband, Matt, started the Affording Adoption Foundation, to help families who may be deterred from adopting because of financial restraints. When I learned this, I actually wasn’t surprised, because Cindy is the kind of person who sees a need, and fills it. If a solution doesn’t exist, she’ll create one. Here’s a description of Cindy’s vision from the foundation website:

What is the Affording Adoption Foundation?

Millions of orphans. People yearning to bring a child into their home. Financial obstacles. Through fundraising efforts and donor support we help close the gap between families considering bringing a child into their home and the moment a child hears “Welcome Home!”

Making an Impact

As of August 2011, $9800 has been given to 6 different families to help bring home 11 children from all over the world!

Considering Adoption?

According to recent studies, more than 50% of Americans consider Adoption, but say that the financial burden prevents them from actually adopting a child. You might want to adopt, but the financial burden may seem insurmountable. That’s where we can help! Apply for one of our Adoption Grants and see how we can help you realize your dream of bringing a child into your family!
***
And here’s the “Why”:

My husband, Matthew and I have two kids who were adopted as infants from Guatemala and knew that our family was complete but still yearned to help other people either start or add to their families. That led to the beginning of the Affording Adoption Foundation in 2010.

It was one of the most exciting days of my life (besides my wedding day and the days that we found out about each of our kids, of course!) when I was able to call the recipients of our first Grants to tell them that they had been chosen to receive money to help fund their adoptions!!! In one day, I made two phone calls and gave away more than $5000 thanks to donors and supporters!! YAY! That has motivated us to work harder, raise more money and help more families!

During each application period, we will seek donors and have fundraisers to help fund the next Grants. We won’t know the exact amount of each grant, but will give away as much money as we bring in. We are constantly looking at new innovative ways to raise money because we want to help as many children find homes as possible!

Oh, and did I mention Cindy is also the president of her children’s school’s PTA? You can see a photo of her with her beautiful family, above. For more information about how to apply for an adoption grant or ways to contribute, visit the Affording Adoption Foundation website. No individual person can change the world, but Cindy is doing her best to affect one small part of it.

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A maligned subset

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

I know many people would disagree with me, but I sometimes feel as though no group in the world is more maligned than adoptive parents in the United States. We are criticized whether we adopt internationally or domestically; through private adoptions or foster care. Instead of being viewed as adults who, like millions of others, simply are trying to create a family, we are said to behave as though we are “entitled” or “privileged.” If we’re not “real” parents” what are we? Unreal? Some days, the negativity gets me down.

And then this. An editorial by James Collins in the New York Times, Mea (Totally Sincere if Overdue) Culpa, which I assume is intended to be tongue-in-cheek. Mr. Collins, as an adoptive parent to two children, I’m not laughing. An excerpt:

I have learned from the reports surrounding the death of Steve Jobs, at much too young an age, that he was adopted and that while he knew the identity of his real dad, the two never met. This has saddened me, and I feel that I can no longer justify denying you that same opportunity.

Mark, I have some news that will come as a shock: Edward and Karen Zuckerberg, two wonderful people, are your adoptive parents, and I, Jim Collins, am your biological father.

***

I want you to know at the outset that in no way do I wish to force a relationship on you. You already have a “father,” in the sense that he provided you shelter and basically adequate nutrition while you were growing up, if not in the sense that you are his authentic, natural child.

While, in a few short paragraphs, Collins impressively lands multiple zingers– “real dad,” “a ‘father’ [who] provided…basically adequate nutrition,” “not…that you are his authentic, natural child”–I have to wonder, at what cost? Maybe Collins isn’t one of the 6 out of 10 Americans who identifies as being touched in some way by adoption. Could it be that he really doesn’t know any adoptive parents, or children who were adopted, or anyone who relinquished a child through adoption? How else could he be so insensitive?

What bothers me most about essays like this one is the effect it may have on our children: That they, too, are somehow “less than.” Adoption is no joke, whether you are Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, my kid, or a child growing up in an orphanage in Guatemala.

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