Posts Tagged ‘Guatemalan adoption’

Week 2

Monday, March 23rd, 2020

I’ve been calling our situation here “homeschooling,” but “remote learning” is more accurate. Because at this point my kids are 17 and 15. Their work and study habits have been in place for a long time. If we don’t backslide too much, I’ll count that as a victory.

Of the the many jobs I’ve held over my lifetime, one of the most educational was teaching at a public high school in San Diego. My first full-time year, I taught American and British literature to 165 students in 9th and 12th grades. And let me tell you, I was overwhelmed.

There was so much information to transmit, and I didn’t feel experienced or capable enough to transmit it. Yes, I had a degree in English and had earned a California teaching credential. But what did I, a rank amateur, know about controlling classrooms filled with energetic, headstrong teenagers? Absolutely nothing.

Then one day, another teacher said something I never forgot: “If order is maintained, learning will occur.”

That’s the plan for this week.

Maintain a degree of order—what that looks like for us: get out of bed, eat breakfast, log in to classwork–and learning will occur. Not all learning, but some. Enough.

We’ll see how it goes.

Upside # 1: What’s great about order is that you get to break free of it. Once the job is done, of course. Here we are in the kitchen dancing to Jai Ho with Charlie.

Upside # 2: Charlie.

Stay safe, everyone. Xo

 

ShareThis

Day 5

Friday, March 20th, 2020

Day 5 of homeschooling and sheltering in place.

First, we thought 2 weeks seemed impossible. (“Whaaaat?” we said. “How will we manage????”) Now, with no definite end in sight, 2 weeks is a nanosecond. We’re looking at a marathon, not sprint. A new normal.

“School” remains a work in progress. Assignments? Learning? At this point, I’m happy to see our kids standing vertically and changed out of pajamas. Don’t get me wrong: the school has been great; the teachers are on it. But in the interest of maintaining peace in our household, I’m taking the George Costanza approach: Serenity now.

Upside # 1: Tim is now working remotely and able to walk our dog, Charlie, with me. Charlie’s thrilled and so am I. Many of our neighbors are out walking, too. We keep our distances, chatting from six feet away, and comparing notes. Our daily goal is two walks with a total of 10,000 steps.

Upside # 2: Our Meyer lemon tree is the gift that keeps giving. Today I made lemon bars, from the best recipe ever. Omg, delicious. I’ve pasted the link here. Stay safe, everyone. Xoxo

ShareThis

Corona

Wednesday, March 18th, 2020

I found this photo of me at our rented house in Antigua last summer. The world is so different now. Everything from before seems quaint and naive. My daily excursions to the artisan market. My crazy affection for handmade plastic baskets. Our carefree visits to restaurants and museums. Today, we’re grateful to breathe fresh air.

From March 16:

Day 1 of homeschooling and sheltering in place. Day 1 of many days to come. The school district said 2 weeks, but we’re anticipating much more time than that.

Upside # 1: We’ve discovered Downton Abbey. Which everyone in the world has watched, except us. Omg, every night, the joy!
Upside # 2: We’re all healthy, so far. That’s a big one, and we’ll take it.

From March 17:

Day 2 of homeschooling and sheltering in place. Our planned schedule of kids waking up at 8 and starting “school” by 9 are, shall we say, subject to change. Especially since it’s noon and one of our teenagers has only now gotten out of bed. Reminding myself: Flexibility in all things will be key.

How do we even try to keep life normal for our children? When they only want to see their friends and socialize. The latest news report is that schools will remain closed until the Fall. We’re not even through the first week.

What choice do we have, what control?

This will be an adventure.

ShareThis

New Year 2020

Sunday, January 5th, 2020

Happy New Year, friends! This year, I’m going to try hard to follow my own advice, which is “Parent the child you have.” I don’t know where I first heard these words, but as soon as I did, I knew they were gold. Or gold for me.

The idea to parent the child I have has been allowing me to step back, take a breath, and pause before speaking or acting. To not impose on someone else my preconceived idea of the “way things should be.”

One of the greatest mysteries and most intense joys of adoption has been discovering who my children are. Who they must be. Who they will be.

My children are not me. They are some of me, sometimes. But mostly, they are themselves. I love and try to guide them. I catch them when they fall. I witness their unfolding. ❤️

ShareThis

Corruption in Guatemalan adoption

Monday, December 9th, 2019

Here’s a link to “A Painful Truth,” a thorough and thoughtful article about now-adults adopted from Guatemala as babies or children, who have discovered their adoptions were corrupt. Such a revelation probably is not news to anyone reading this, but it’s worth taking a minute to think about.

As for me, I’ve trained myself to live with the complexity that is Guatemalan adoption. Our children are here now and they need us. Terrible things happened. Both are true.

ShareThis

15

Tuesday, November 26th, 2019

Smart, funny, creative, kind, exuberant. Mateo is 15!

ShareThis

Antigua summer 2019

Thursday, November 14th, 2019

When is Guatemala not on my mind? Never, probably. Scrolling through my phone, I found these photos from Summer 2019, all from Antigua. xoxo

ShareThis

“Fierce Love” memoir by Kim Gjerde

Thursday, November 7th, 2019

 

I’m thrilled for my friend, Kim Gjerde, whose memoir Fierce Love: One Woman’s Remarkable Journey to Adopt her Daughter from Guatemala is now available on Amazon. Kim’s experience is one many can relate to. Here’s my blurb on the back cover:

“Kim Gjerde’s riveting account of adoption from Guatemala kept me turning the pages, eager to see what happened next. This book holds back nothing—the trusting innocence of Kim and her husband, the unscrupulous players they encountered along the way, and their steadfast devotion to their beloved daughter. If anyone still wonders why adoptions between Guatemala and the United States remain closed, read Kim Gjerde’s Fierce Love and understand.”

Lots to discuss for book clubs. Order your copy today!

ShareThis

Be prepared.

Friday, September 6th, 2019
This morning, as I gave Mateo bus and lunch money, I noticed his wallet was stuffed with Qs. (Qs=Guatemalan currency, quetzales.)
“Why so many Qs?” I asked.
“In case I get deported,” he said.
This is the world we live in, people. For kids like mine, US citizens with brown skin.
Crazy, except that it’s real.

ShareThis

Love Never Quits by Gina Heumann

Thursday, September 5th, 2019

I love reading memoirs about adopting from Guatemala, so when I saw my friend Gina Heumann post on FB about a book she’d written, I bought it immediately. Love Never Quits tells the story of Gina and her husband, the two boys they adopted from Guatemala, and the challenges they faced and overcame as a family. The younger boy suffered early trauma which manifested as behavior diagnosed by mental health professionals as Reactive Attachment Disorder. But this diagnosis did not come quickly. Gina tried for years to find help for her son, until, finally, she did.

The biggest takeaway for me in reading the book was how little is understood about adoption by mental health professionals, still, after so many years. And by adoption, I mean being relinquished by your mother; possibly living with multiple caregivers, in an orphanage, or on the street; and/or possibly being neglected or abused before landing in a secure, loving home; and, after all that, being required to adjust–as a young, frightened child–to an entirely new life. Reading the book also reminded me how ill-prepared *we* were as adoptive parents: how no one told us what we might face, how alone and misunderstood we would feel while facing it, and how difficult it was to find trained professionals qualified to counsel and guide us.

I met Gina Heumann at Heritage Camp for Adoptive Families (something else many of us do in our attempts to build bonds with our children) and was impressed with her dynamism and energy. Brava to her for writing about her family’s struggles and how they overcame them. May Gina’s story deepen the understanding of adoption’s complexity.

For more information about Gina Heumann, visit her website.

 

 

 

 

ShareThis