November is National Adoption Awareness Month

November 2nd, 2010

Happy National Adoption Awareness Month! When Seal Press decided to publish my book, Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir, in November, I was thrilled. While writing the book, my hope was that our experience could contribute in some small way to the dialogue surrounding adoption. What better time to publish than in the month dedicated to the subject? As it turns out, the book was released in mid-October… Close enough!  

On November 1, the U.S. State Department held a briefing on international adoption-related issues with Special Advisor for Children’s Issues Ambassador Susan Jacobs. Ambassador Jacobs answered questions regarding the implementation of the Hague Treaty; adoptions from Ethiopia, Haiti, Nepal, and other countries; as well as the currrent situation in Guatemala. 

The entire briefing is worth reading and watching.  Ambassador Jacobs’ comments regarding Guatemala, quoted below, reiterate the State Department’s commitment to resolving the unfinished cases (the “Guatemala900”) that date from the Hague Treaty shutdown, in December 2007. I join the many Americans who are still hoping for resolution for those families soon.

Regarding adoptions in Guatemala, Ambassador Susan Jacobs said:

“In terms of the [Guatemalan] pilot project, every time we asked for details about it, there weren’t any. So it turned out there really wasn’t a pilot project to which – in which we could participate. And in looking at the procedures and regulations that had been put in place, not very much had changed since adoptions had been shut down. So we are trying to work with the Guatemalan Government to help them set in place proper regulations and procedures, and at the same time, close the cases that are in the pipeline. There are hundreds of cases that need to be resolved, so we’ve asked them to focus on that.”

ShareThis

Comments

Book trailer for Mamalita

November 1st, 2010

ShareThis

4 Comments on Book trailer for Mamalita

Halloween 2010

November 1st, 2010

 

By the time we finally got out the door on Halloween night, Olivia and Mateo had undergone costume changes too numerous to count. From pirate to ghost, from princess to fairy, until sometime during dinner Mateo announced that what he really wanted to be was Santa Claus. Lucky for me, I was able to put my hand on a St. Nick hat bought a few Christmases ago, which paired nicely with Mateo’s red pajamas, black belt, and red sneakers. Unlike the original Mr. Claus, this Santa was clean-shaven. After a few itchy attempts, Mateo opted to forego the fake beard.

At her school party on Friday, Olivia had been her usual favorite, a cat, but after witnessing Mateo’s transformation, she also changed her mind. “Vampire,” she said, and I won’t bore you with the machinations required to scare up that costume. When Tim returned home with a plastic bag, we noticed the costume’s “collar” was missing. Being the creative girl that she is, Olivia cut one out of cardboard and colored it with red marker. No matter. For Olivia, a vampire costume is all about the sleeves.

There’s no denying that Halloween has gotten out of control in the United States: What other country in the world celebrates a holiday that so blatantly promotes tooth decay? But how can we resist? One night a year, our neighborhood comes alive with packs of roving children, laughing teens, and babies dressed up like bumblebees. For the next few days, our kids will sort through their Skittles and Dots, M&Ms and Reese’s, trading away the ones they don’t like, and keeping the ones they do. (Anything dark chocolate, feel free to pass my way.)

For the next few weeks, I’ll make dire predictions about our next visit to the dentist. But right now, nobody is listening.

ShareThis

2 Comments on Halloween 2010

More reviews for MAMALITA. One calls it “Part thriller, part love story, part exposé”

October 29th, 2010

What a great feeling to have readers respond to Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir. “Guateangel” wrote a review on Amazon that included this sentence: “As an adoptive mother who adopted from Guatemala I want to thank you for writing down everything many of us were afraid to speak about.” Thank you, Guateangel, for sharing your reaction. If Mamalita can help one person reflect on and possibly sort out her complicated adoption experience, I’m thrilled. 

This past week, Mamalita garnered some wonderful national press, as well.  I’m especially happy about the review in the November/December 2010 issue of Adoptive Families. Soon after Olivia joined our family, I began subscribing to AF, and over the years, I’ve appreciated its helpful, insightful, constructive advice.  The review is written by adoptive parent Tesi Kohlenberg.

Here are a few review excerpts. Where available, I’ve included the corresponding link so you can read the review in full.

Thanks for helping me spread the word about Mamalita!

REVIEWS FOR MAMALITA: AN ADOPTION MEMOIR

 “[A] richly written book, part thriller, part love story, part exposé… [A] cautionary tale.”
Adoptive Families Magazine

“Regardless of age or intent, this is a riveting read.” –Marin Magazine

“Kafkaesque… An important and timely book about one woman’s harrowing experience adopting a child from Guatemala.” —Shelf Awareness: “daily enlightenment for the book trade”

“A scathing critique on a foreign adoption system and the harrowing account of one woman to fight against it.” – Kirkus Reviews

“[H]arrowing and moving… deftly handled.” –Publishers Weekly

ShareThis

Comments

The “Mamalita” book tour goes to Durham, NC and Iowa City

October 27th, 2010

One of the best outcomes of publishing a book about adoption is hearing from and connecting with so many other people in the adoption community. Today I received an email from a woman I met in Guatemala City in 2002. Reading Mamalita brought up many memories for her, and she wanted to let me know about her strong reaction. For both of us, sharing our experiences felt healing.

That’s why I’m so excited to add two new venues to the “Mamalita Book Tour”: I’ll be at The Regulator Bookshop in Durham, NC on January 19, and at Prairie Lights in Iowa City on Tuesday, June 28. I’m honored to be reading in these outstanding independent bookstores.

And please remember my Book Launch at Book Passage in Corte Madera, California, on Saturday, November 13 at 7 p.m.

The Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir Book Tour:

Saturday, November 13, 2010 at 7 p.m.
Book Passage
51 Tamal Vista Blvd.
Corte Madera, CA 94925
1-800-999-7909

Book Launch! At Book Passage, Corte Madera.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010 at 7 p.m.
Upstart Crow Bookstore
Seaport Village
835C West Harbor Drive
San Diego, CA 92110
619-232-4855

Reading and signing books in San Diego.

Friday, December 3, 2010 at 10 a.m.
Santee Branch Library
9225 Carlton Hills Boulevard
Santee, CA 92071
619-448-1863

Reading and signing books in San Diego’s East County.

Sunday, December 5, 2010 at 6 p.m.
Writing Mamas Salon
Book Passage
51 Tamal Vista Blvd.
Corte Madera, CA 94925
1-800-999-7909

Reading and signing books at Book Passage with fellow Writing Mamas Cindy Bailey, Jennifer Gunter and Dawn Yun.

Thursday, December 9, 2010 at 7:30 p.m.
Beverly Public Library
32 Essex Street
Beverly, MA 01915
978-921-6062

Reading and signing books on Boston’s North Shore.

Sunday, December 12, 2010 at 6 p.m.
Borders Bookstore-Back Bay-Boston
511 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts 02116
617-236-1444

Reading and signing books in Boston.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011, at 7 p.m.
Bookworks
4022 Rio Grande Boulevard NW
Albuquerque, NM 87107
505-344-8139

Reading and signing books in Albuquerque.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011 at 7 p.m.
The Regulator Bookshop
720 Ninth St.
Durham, NC 27705
319-337-2681

Reading and signing books in Durham.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011 at 7 p.m.
Prairie Lights Books
15 South Dubuque Street
Iowa City, IA 52240
319-337-2681

Reading and signing books in Iowa City.

Hope to see you at one of these venues soon

ShareThis

Comments

Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute issues research study on post-adoption services

October 25th, 2010

A few months ago, the story about the American adoptive mother who put her Russian-born son on an airplane with a note saying she was effectively “sending him back,” made international headlines. The story outraged many, who wondered whether the woman would have made a similar decision with a biological son. 

In response to this story and others like it, the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute issued a research study titled “Keeping The Promise: The Critical Need for Post-Adoption Services to Enable Children and Families to Succeed.” (The Evan B. Donaldson Institute is the policy- and opinion-making leader in adoption in the United States.)

The study acknowledges the real and undoubtedly heartbreaking challenges faced by some adoptive families, at the same time it underlines the critical need for hope and for help. I, for one, applaud the Institute for focusing its attention on post-placement adoption services.

You can read the entire report here. Below is a short summary.

“The report stresses that the vast majority of adopted children function normally — and their parents are highly satisfied with their families. But it also points out that just over the past 15 years, nearly a million boys and girls were adopted by Americans from foster care in our country and from orphanages abroad, and the majority of U.S. adoptions continue to be of those types (by far, mostly from state child welfare systems).”

“‘What it means is that these children live with the emotional, psychological and developmental consequences of having been abused, neglected or institutionalized before they were adopted,’ said Adoption Institute Executive Director Adam Pertman. ‘The good news is that most of them, and their families, are doing just fine; the bad news is that the ones who need help too often aren’t getting it.'”

http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/research/2010_10_promises.php

ShareThis

2 Comments on Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute issues research study on post-adoption services

“Mamalita” Book Trailer

October 22nd, 2010

Technology is not my strong suit, which is why I have attached here a link to my “Mamalita” book trailer instead of embedding it. But rest assured, the link will lead you to the right place.

Thanks for watching. Please feel free to forward to anyone else who may be interested.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wevi-IGJfRA

ShareThis

Comments

The “Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir” Book Tour

October 21st, 2010

I’ve added one more venue to the Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir book tour. This one is on the North Shore of Boston, at the Beverly Public Library, 32 Essex Street, Beverly, Massachusetts. The reading takes place on Thursday, December 9, at 7:30 p.m. Details about exact room location will follow. (Thank you, again, Deanna, little sister extraordinaire….) Still working on readings in Iowa City; Durham, North Carolina; and one in the Philadelphia area.

The Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir Book Tour:

Saturday, November 13, 2010 at 7 p.m.
Book Passage
51 Tamal Vista Blvd.
Corte Madera, CA 94925
1-800-999-7909

Book Launch! At Book Passage, Corte Madera.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010 at 7 p.m.
Upstart Crow Bookstore
Seaport Village
835C West Harbor Drive
San Diego, CA 92110
619-232-4855

Reading and signing books in San Diego.

Friday, December 3, 2010 at 10 a.m.
Santee Branch Library
9225 Carlton Hills Boulevard
Santee, CA 92071
619-448-1863

Reading and signing books in San Diego’s East County.

Sunday, December 5, 2010 at 6 p.m.
Writing Mamas Salon
Book Passage
51 Tamal Vista Blvd.
Corte Madera, CA 94925
1-800-999-7909

Reading and signing books at Book Passage with fellow Writing Mamas Cindy Bailey, Jennifer Gunter and Dawn Yun.

Thursday, December 9, 2010 at 7:30 p.m.
Beverly Public Library
32 Essex Street
Beverly, MA 01915
978-921-6062

Reading and signing books on Boston’s North Shore.

Sunday, December 12, 2010 at 6 p.m.
Borders Bookstore-Back Bay-Boston
511 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts 02116
617-236-1444

Reading and signing books in Boston.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011, at 7 p.m.
Bookworks
4022 Rio Grande Boulevard NW
Albuquerque, NM 87107
505-344-8139

Reading and signing books in Albuquerque.

Hope to see you at one of these venues soon!

ShareThis

Comments

“Mamalita” now in a bookstore near you

October 19th, 2010

Yesterday morning I heard from my friend Paula that my book, Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir, was in stock and on the shelf at our favorite local indie bookstore, Book Passage in Corte Madera, California. As soon as I got the kids off to school and did everything else that needed to get done before I could do anything as self-indulgent as go look, I grabbed my car keys and drove over.

The bookseller at the store was very nice and pointed me to the table in front where the appealing cover of Mamalita might catch the eye of someone standing in line on the way to the cash register. (Thank you, Book Passage!) After that, he directed me to the “Parenting” section, where my book was shelved with other books about adoption: Susan Caughman’s You Can Adopt, Janis Cooke Newman’s The Russian Word for Snow, and Scott Simon’s recent Baby, We Were Meant for Each Other. Very good company, I’d say.

One of my goals in writing Mamalita was to tell a real story about adoption, and in doing so, to contribute something lasting to the conversation about the subject. The thought was subconscious, but strong:  “This is what happened to us. What does our experience tell us about the experience of international adoption?” My book existing on the shelf is the first step to our story, and the story of others like us, being heard.

Please forgive me if I’m a little too excited to see Mamalita, finally, out in the world. It’s my first book, and I’m not a young writer bursting onto the scene. As the Book Passage bookseller said, when he saw me tearing up, “Publishing your first book is like giving birth.”

So I’ve heard. Or, for many of us, adopting your first baby.

ShareThis

12 Comments on “Mamalita” now in a bookstore near you

Thoughts from a 15-year-old girl adopted from China

October 15th, 2010

Leceta Chisolm Guibault, an adoptive mother to two teens born in Latin America, posted this letter by a 15-year-old girl adopted from China on a Guatemalan listserve. 

Introducing the letter, Leceta said, “I have no doubts that she is not alone in her feelings. Note that her family has been very open and proactive. She has attended Jane Brown’s workshops, adoptive families groups as well as a homeland tour. Then puberty hit.”

The letter seems to illustrate (at least) two things: First, how feelings toward adoption evolve as a child grows and matures. And second, how challenging the experience of adoption can be and is for our children, despite our best efforts.

 With the permission of Leceta (who got permission from the 15-year-old girl), I am printing excerpts of the letter here.

 “I’m kind of struggling with my adoption… I don’t get why it’s all coming to me right now. It’s not like I haven’t gone through all the adoption workshops or anything like that. I’ve been really involved in everything adoption but all of a sudden I’m asking the same questions but differently. Of course I still wonder if my birthfamily thinks about me but now I wonder if they realize the amount they have affected my life just like the way I live it. They obviously think they did the best but do they think about how it negatively affects me from day to day. I look in the mirror still and ask myself if I look like them but now I look in the mirror (which happens a lot more now) and wonder if they had simple things like a birthmark or something…”

“[E]verything I thought I was at peace with I’m like not anymore. They are the reason for so many of my insecurities and they don’t even know it. Is it bad that I don’t even consider them real people? Because I don’t. I can’t picture them just like I couldn’t picture China before I saw it for myself. Obviously I know I didn’t come from my adoptive mom but sometimes it’s like maybe I don’t believe that. It’s so weird… I almost hate my birthparents sometimes… Is that like wrong because I feel bad about it. I want to find them I really do but I don’t know if I can emotionally handle if I can’t and I don’t want to fail. I know it’s next to impossible so I’m just really confused… [F]or some reason I feel like I can tell you this but not my own mom …”

ShareThis

10 Comments on Thoughts from a 15-year-old girl adopted from China