Northern Minnesota

August 4th, 2013

Olivia and I loved Northern Minnesota. For me, especially the clouds, so different from our clear California skies. We ate hand-harvested wild rice, wall-eye (a river fish), nut rolls (who could resist that name?), and drank local coffee and fresh spring water (filtered in some way I’m assuming?) Every day, I walked with my friend’s dogs and bathed in the lake. Oh, and used a composting outhouse. I learned about the Iron Range (Northern Minn. is a mining region), and the meaning of the word “Ranger,” which, if you are from those parts, you already understand.

We visited the house in Hibbing where Bob Dylan grew up (below left), and saw an open-pit mine, much more gigantic than my photo (below right) shows. I got my fill of burgers and fried food at “The Stand” outside Chisholm, which served the best onion rings ever. We met friends at the Highway 5 grill, and listened to an outdoor concert in Ely while browsing through a craft fair.  A great trip.

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Guinness World Record to Guatemala

July 18th, 2013

The Guinness Book of World Records has bestowed on Guatemala the award for “Longest Sawdust Carpet,” reports the Prensa Latina News Agency. Back in April, we visited Guatemala for our first-ever Semana Santa, and I wrote about our trip here. Watching the artistry and dedication involved in creating the carpets, and then witnessing the religious processions that follow, ranks as one of the most moving and memorable experiences of my life.

Spectacular, Guatemala. Congratulations!

 

 

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“Extended Family” documentary by Jill R. Hodges

July 12th, 2013

At Heritage Camp this year, I joined a large group of adoptive parents who viewed Jill R. Hodges’  moving and thought-provoking documentary short, Extended Family, which tells of Hodges’ search for her son’s birth mother in Guatemala. The film effectively conveys the reality of life for some Guatemalan women who have relinquished a child for adoption—the secrecy and the shame, and the judgment to which they are subjected.  One particularly effective segment shows an interview with one such birth mother (not Hodges’ son’s). I was fascinated to watch the young woman’s face go through a range of emotions as she discussed her decision to place her child for adoption. Also fascinating were the frank conversations with a few of the well-known “searchers” who facilitate contact between adoptive and birth families. Viewers may learn a lot by hearing these women share their insights, gained over many years. Finally, the film illustrates the everyday challenges faced by many rural Guatemalans as Hodges and her seacher travel by van through the rain over muddy, winding roads to reach her son’s birth village.

Ultimately, Hodges meets her son’s extended birth family, although not his birth mother, who was unavailable to attend the reunion. Those scenes especially will interest anyone who wonders what first meetings may be like. At the end of the film, Hodges’ son is shown in a photo with members of his Guatemalan family.

The screening sparked a lively and wide-ranging discussion, as audience members shared their thoughts and experiences on birth family contact. Subjects included whether or not parents should initiate the process, or wait for their children to ask to establish contact, and when such meetings should occur.

If you or your group are interested in a screening of Extended Family, contact Jill Hodges via Facebook at Extended Family, or through her website, extended-family.org, where you can also view the trailer.

Image credit: Jill R. Hodges

 

 

 

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Summer in San Diego

July 7th, 2013

We’re in San Diego for a while to visit my parents and siblings who live here. Before I met Tim, I lived in San Diego for years, so visiting always feels like coming home. One of our favorite San Diego traditions is the Fourth of July Parade in Coronado. My sister “A” wakes up at 4:30 AM to secure us a spot curbside, competing with the large crowd of similar-minded locals who also are jockeying to claim parade-viewing real estate by throwing down blankets and setting up chairs. When the rest of our family saunters up hours later and sits ourselves down in the primo location my sister has claimed, I think of her waking before dawn to ensure that we—and our kids especially—experience July Fourth front row and center.  Thank you again, selfless sister of mine.

Yesterday we spent the afternoon at the beach, where Mateo endured his first brush with a jellyfish. I spent my childhood swimming in the Atlantic, where we dodged jellies all the time, but I’ve never sighted one in West coast waters. We administered vinegar (a trick we learned in Australia), and Mateo recovered quickly. The close encounter didn’t dampen our spirits, though: While I alternated between actively boogie boarding and passively being hypnotized by the sound of the crashing surf, the kids darted up and down the beach moving wet sand in buckets, and running from breaking waves. There are few places on earth as endlessly engaging as an oceanfront.

My parents are at the age where more health challenges are beginning to reveal themselves, and I’m glad we can be here together, while we can. More than ever, each day feels like a gift.

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Heritage Camp for Adoptive Families

July 2nd, 2013

We just returned from six days in Colorado, the main purpose of which was to attend Heritage Camp for Adoptive Families. I love our life, but a part of me wishes we could live in that supportive, insulated world forever. This is our fifth year attending, over the past six years: The first time I flew alone from California with Olivia, when she had just turned five, and from the moment we walked together into the big gathering hall filled with more than 100 adoptive families with kids born in Latin America, we looked at each other with disbelieving eyes. Was this place real? Even at five years old, Olivia, perhaps more than me, sensed we had discovered something special.

I’ll try to put into words why I love Heritage Camp. It’s the feeling of being at home, among friends, among families who also get stared at, everywhere else they go. Of not needing to explain anything to anyone. Of our family being in a large social situation, and in a very deep and rare way, feeling relaxed. It’s watching the teen counselors, most of whom are camp alumni, as they interact with our children–so caring and empathic because the teens are also adopted, with parents and other family members who don’t look like them, and they’ve already endured years of that, and have come out the other side, which gives me hope my children will, too. Of dancing at the Fiesta on Saturday night and realizing every child on the dance floor is adopted, not only mine, and what a relief that must feel like to my kids–for once, being like everybody else. Of listening to a roundtable discussion by a panel of adult adoptees, and learning from their experiences about ways I can try to do better. About ways we can all learn from each other.

I sometimes feel like a broken record, the way I constantly promote Heritage Camp, Heritage Camp, Heritage Camp! But then at dinner our first night, I asked an attendee from Illinois who was sitting at my table how she’d learned about Heritage Camp, and she said, “I read about it on a blog I follow, Mamalita.” Even better, she told me she definitely planned to return next year.

So I’ll say it again. If you haven’t ever attended Heritage Camp for Adoptive Families, think about it.  That’s all. Think about it.

Thank you. ~

 

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Summer in Virginia and NC

June 20th, 2013

For the past week, we’ve been in North Carolina and Virginia, mainly to attend the wedding of Tim’s lovely niece Bethany. The ceremony was held outdoors under a giant magnolia tree, with the reception inside an old Southern mansion that once belonged to a tobacco magnate. Afterward, the party went on for hours outside, with the four of us–Tim, Olivia, Mateo, and I–dancing like crazy to a play list that ranged from Sweet Home Alabama to Cotton-Eyed Joe to Adele, Michael Jackson, and Black-Eyed Peas.  Yesterday we visited Natural Bridge, near Lynchburg, and today, Thomas Jefferson’s showplace, Monticello. Tomorrow we plan to tour the University of Virginia (Tim’s giving a lecture) and Appomattox. Eventually we’ll go home, but I’m trying not to think about it.

Tim’s sister and brother live locally, which is fantastic, because our kids get to see their East coast aunties and uncles and cousins, and Tim and I can visit too.

Did I mention they eat fried chicken here? And hush puppies and barbeque and cole slaw and sweet iced tea? I was born in Virginia and spent my girlhood summers at my grandmother’s house. Just one bite of fried chicken takes me right back. Oh my goodness. Heaven. ~

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Summer

June 13th, 2013

Today is Mateo’s last day of school. Olivia has been off since last week. Already the change in schedule affects us: Olivia reads under the covers later than usual (which is already late), but because she doesn’t have to awaken early, I let her. And last night, Mateo and I stayed up until 10:30 PM, packing for our trip tonight to North Carolina—Tim’s niece is getting married there—and instead of my usual freak-out, I stayed focused on packing and didn’t worry about the time.

This summer we’ll be traveling. After North Carolina, we attend Heritage Camp for Adoptive Families, a long weekend in the Colorado mountains with other adoptive families, which we love and look forward to every year. Fourth of July we’ll celebrate with my folks and siblings in San Diego, and then Olivia and I will take a short trip to Minnesota. The summer will end with more family visits and another wedding, this one my nephew’s, in Maine.

Today I will finish (or start) cleaning the house so when we return I won’t be too overwhelmed with all I left undone. Which, believe me, is a lot. One reason I look forward to the end of the school year is that the daily deluge of incoming tests, art projects, and homework, stops, at least for a few months. Two cardboard boxes filled with detritus are stacked in a corner in the kitchen (they feel like an accusation), and if I don’t empty or at least edit them, I won’t have room for next year’s avalanche. It never ends.

The weather’s been sunny and warm, so last weekend we took a short hike around Lake Lagunitas, a beautiful flat trail around our local reservoir. The photo above is from that lovely afternoon.

Ready or not, it’s summer. ~

Image credit: Jessica O’Dwyer

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A few links

June 4th, 2013

Here are links to a few articles I’ve read lately that I found interesting, as well as to two new TV shows that deal with adoption and foster care:

In the New York Times, Eager To Adopt, Evangelicals Find Perils Abroad.

On the Huffington Post, by Kathryn Joyce, Author of The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption, The Problem With the Christian Adoption Movement.

From the US State Department, Update on Intercountry Adoptions in Guatemala.

On NBC News, an interesting look at an open adoption, Woman’s Struggle Over Adoption Leads to Modern Family.

An ABC Family series about a multi-cultural family through adoption and foster care, headed by two moms, The Fosters.

And finally,

A new reality show on the GMC cable channel, featuring Leigh Anne Touhy of The Blind Side fame, Family Addition With Leigh Anne Touhy.

Enjoy! ~

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A gathering of families

June 1st, 2013

Last Sunday we hosted our third annual cook-out for local adoptive families with kids born in Guatemala. About 65 people attended, half of them children, with lots of trampoline jumping, eating of hot dogs and hamburgers, and bonding among friends old and new. The photo above shows one of the cakes we served for dessert, decorated with the Guatemalan flag, and made by my friend the baker at Safeway, who always threatens “I don’t know if I can do the quetzal…” and yet, every year, manages to do just that. I received lots of lovely thank-you notes from families who attended, but the truth is that I love the party more than anyone. Looking forward to next year! xo

 

Image credit: Marie Lappin

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Rios Montt continued

May 24th, 2013

These two letters to the editor of the New York Times express two different points of view regarding the Rios Montt trial. I personally agree, strongly, with the sentiments expressed by the second writer, John T. Bennett of Alexandria, Virginia, a Foreign Service officer posted in Guatemala in 1979. But please read both letters and form your own opinion! Bennett’s letter is below. To read the first letter, you will need to click on the link.

To the Editor:

Your article about the reversal of the conviction of Guatemala’s former dictator, Gen. Efraín Ríos Montt, finally begins to provide a more nuanced look at the case (“Trial of Ex-Dictator of Guatemala May Have to Restart,” news article, May 22). Missing, however, is the role of race, as Guatemala has long been dominated socially, politically and economically by Europeans and their offspring.

The Mayan majority remains unchanged but is exploited through the intermediary of a partly modernized class of Mayans detached from their racial roots. The army, run by the dominant Europeans, reflects the same class and racial mix.

Much of the character of the country reflects the evolution of its dominant economic interests — mining, sugar and coffee. Those interests reinforce European dominance, so many were surprised by General Ríos Montt’s conviction, but not by its reversal.

JOHN T. BENNETT
Alexandria, Va., May 22, 2013

The writer, a Foreign Service officer, was chargé d’affaires in the United States Embassy in Guatemala in 1979.

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