We don’t get real weather out here, not like the East coast where I grew up. But yesterday it rained and rained and they closed the schools, so the kids were home. Then the electricity went out at Tim’s office–they’re not a hospital, and thus no hospital-level emergency generators–so he came home around lunch-time, too.
While Olivia did Olivia things in her room and Mateo watched too many movies (current favorite: the Sherlock Holmes series, with Basil Rathbone), Tim dragged out the plastic containers of 1,000+ photos that I had stashed downstairs and forgotten, and declared we must sort them into categories: “Us, before kids, aka: Man, we were young,” “biking pix,” “our wedding,” “JOD Family,” “Tim family,” “Olivia in Guatemala,” “Us in Antigua,” “Mateo,” “birth family visits.” ETC.
I set up a Costco table and chairs in the living room and for the next five hours we arranged the pictures into stacks. (Yes, I do photo books. Another ongoing project! Most of the images I’m talking about here predate digital.)
At the end of the five hours, Tim and I looked at each other and said, “We have a life together. A history.” Even after all this time as a family, that felt like a revelation.
And that’s how we spent our rainy day. xo
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I just found your blog as I search resources for a birth parent search (our daughter was born in Guatemala). After 26 years together and at least 40 huge photo albums, I never thought of my husband and I as having a living breathing fluid history-but we do. I feel like I am still in the present of my life, but when I look at our old photos, what still seems like the “present” is actually from a time long gone. I feel like I am standing turned around and looking at my life as it spirals “behind me” instead of standing directly in the middle of my life and being surrounded by my life. It’s such a shift of time. One that I can actually feel for the first time. Funny I should read you have the same experience within a week of my own experience. I look forward to reading about your experiences through your blog.
How beautifully you express the experience of reflecting on life while living it: “What feels like the present is actually a time long gone.” When going through our photos, I feel the same! Thank you for saying it so well.
On another note: We searched for and found the birth mothers of both our children, from different areas in Guatemala, using two different searchers. When you’re ready, and if you want to, please email me any questions and I’ll be happy to share our experience if you think that might help. Also, as you probably know, there are online groups with members who have searched and are willing to share their opinions and histories.
My email is jessica@mamalitathebook.com.
Thanks again. ~