Posts Tagged ‘international adoption’

Mamalita in the Washington Times

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

A few days ago, Andrea Poe of the Washington Times interviewed me about Mamalita for the paper’s section called “The Red Thread: An Adoptive Family Forum.” As a great admirer of Poe’s support for adoption, I was incredibly honored when she told me she loved my book, and that her profile of me and our story would run in her column on January 11, 2011. Readers of this blog may remember my comments on the piece Poe ran on the Gatto Family, whose case has been stalled in Guatemala since the closure of adoption in December 2007. In another piece, titled “UNICEF’s effective attack on inter-country adoption,” Poe wrote about why the stated policy of the organization founded to help children often does the opposite. Andrea Poe writes the kind of articles about adoption that I want to read.

In the article about Mamalita, Poe writes:

The process to finalize the adoption should have taken a few months.  Instead, it began to drag on without clear answers.   When O’Dwyer reached out to her adoption agency, she would be told they were trying, things were difficult and to be patient.

“I would be heart-broken when I went down to Guatemala to visit Olivia and find her strapped into a stroller in front of the TV,” recalls O’Dwyer.  “The foster parents weren’t bad people, they had other children and they had signed up as foster parents to a baby and Olivia was growing up. Time was going by and Olivia wasn’t growing up with us.  Her attachment was to her foster parents.”

That’s when O’Dwyer made the decision to move to Guatemala, even while Tim stayed back in California.  “I really had no choice.  I wanted to raise my daughter,” she explains.

She rented a home in a town called Antigua, a community where several expats were located, all mothers who had moved down to Guatemala to live with their children, also caught in bureaucratic limbo.  The good news was that the American parents were permitted to keep their children with them as the paperwork dragged through the system, but the bad news was that there was no streamlined process that afforded these families any sense of security.  “I actually faced the fact that I might have to live in Guatemala until Olivia turned 18,” says O’Dwyer.

Poe ends the article with this:

When asked for advice for other parents stuck where she was, waiting and wondering if they will ever be able to bring their kids home, [O’Dwyer] offers this: “Do the very best you can and be active.  My goal was to do one thing every single day that forwarded my goal, even a small thing.  Lobby and advocate officials for change, and when outraged write letters.  Most importantly, don’t give up.”

Read Andrea Poe’s article here. If you have an opinion about it, please post a comment on “The Red Thread: An Adoptive Family Forum” site. And here, too, of course!

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A new year.

Saturday, January 1st, 2011

When I was a little girl, my youngest sister, Deanna, and I shared a bedroom. On our wall hung a poster of a ballet dancer balanced on one foot, her other leg extended in a gravity-defying arabesque. Along the bottom of the picture was a quote by Goethe: “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

As a child, I thought the most important words of Goethe’s quote were “genius” and “power” and “magic.” Since then, I’ve realized that the crucial word is “begin.” Whatever it is: a short-story, an exercise plan, a commitment to a cause,  a journey toward parenthood.

Today starts a new year. Whatever it is. Begin.

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Adoption Today: “Inside Guatemalan Orphanages” by Leceta Chisholm Guibault

Thursday, December 30th, 2010

When I was asked to get a back-cover endorsement for Mamalita from someone prominent in the adoption field, I didn’t think twice before approaching Leceta Chisholm Guibault. Leceta is a person admired and respected by me and many others in the Guatemalan adoption community and beyond: the adoptive mother to two teens born in Central America, a former board member of the Adoption Council of Canada, an Adoption Activist award- winner, and a staff member of the TIES program (Adoptive Families Homeland Journeys).  During the years I’ve been involved in adoption myself, I have read and benefited from Leceta’s magazine articles and postings in which she shares her experiences and insights.

Leceta is currently a Canadian regional partner for Orphan Resources International, an American nonprofit organization that supports some 55 orphanages in Guatemala. During the past two years, she has led more than 150 Canadian volunteers on six separate service trips. In  an article titled “A View from the Trenches: Inside Guatemalan Orphanages,” in the December issue of Adoption Today, Leceta shares her impressions of what she has seen and felt. Or as she says in the article’s introduction, “what keeps me awake at night and why I continue to provide aid to children in Guatemala.” As usual, she tells her story with compassion, honesty, and bravery.  

Adoption Today is published online only. The $12 subscription fee is money well-spent for anyone interested in the current state of international and transracial adoption. Leceta writes:

Most homes share the same issues– overcrowding. Many are filled with abandoned infants, as well as children in care due to severe abuse and neglect. Infants were arriving if not daily, weekly. At Fundaninos orphanage, the infants we met in 2009 are now toddlers. Another home we volunteer for is a baby home with 50-60 children, the majority being infants and young toddlers. Every time I visit, bassinets are full with newborn to 5-month-olds…

In May, I walked into one of the three overcrowded nurseries and fell to my knees… I sobbed. There were babies everywhere being fed by propped bottles. Don’t get me wrong — it was a beautiful, clean and loving home. The home receives a lot of clothing donations… The problem is, it’s overcrowded. There are not enough caregivers — during one visit there were 37 infants with two nannies. It was an assembly line of diaper changes and bottle propping… The children were craving attention and happy just to be held. I brought 23 volunteers and even holding two children each there were little ones waiting for their turn. These children need parents… (more…)

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Observations by Jane Aronson, MD, the “orphan doctor”

Monday, December 27th, 2010

Pediatrician and adoptive mother Jane Aronson’s New York City medical practice focuses on childen who are adopted. By her own estimate, she has examined more than 10,000 children as patients. This article, posted on NJ.com, includes thoughtful insights by Aronson, based on years of her professional observations. Two that resonate for me are:

…Aronson says that for every three months a child spends in an orphanage, he loses one month of developmental skills, causing, for example, language delays or learning issues.

“If you don’t have one adult who loves you,” says Aronson, you “don’t end up healthy.”

And the second:

Most important quality for parents to have: “To be focused on who the child is and make every effort to accept the child for who they are. (Whether) you give birth to a child, you adopt a child, you have to accept the child with unconditional love and acceptance.”

Aronson is founder of the Worldwide Orphans Foundation.

Her Worldwide Orphans Foundation [WWO], with its headquarters in Maplewood [New Jersey], provides various programs and facilities to orphans in Ethiopia, Vietnam, Azerbaijan, Bulgaria and Serbia. In Ethiopia, for instance, some of WWO’s programs include a school whose curriculum includes global arts, such as theater, dance and music; a family health care clinic, which counts among its services the treatment of orphans with HIV and AIDS; and an orphan soccer league.

The idea for the foundation came to her in the late 1980s when she looked at the staggering number of orphans who are never adopted. Approximately 20,000 children are adopted annually; the total number of orphans worldwide is now estimated to be about 163 million, according to UNICEF.

“It became clear that the vast majority of orphans would not have permanency,” says Aronson.

Through WWO, one-to-one early intervention programs — known as granny programs — in Vietnam, Azerbaijan and Bulgaria match retired women from the community with orphans to provide the children with individual attention and education.

International adoption can never provide homes for the millions of children in need of permanency. Last year, families in the United States adopted 13,000 from around the world, and that number is dropping. My hope for the new year is the development of more one-to-one early intervention programs in the orphanages of my children’s birth country, Guatemala. Every child deserves a chance to grow up healthy.

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Season’s Greetings!

Friday, December 24th, 2010

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Three generations.

Tia Lolly and Mateo.

My Mom and Dad.

Happy New Year, too!~

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Borders Reading in Fairfield, CT

Thursday, December 9th, 2010

Yesterday, my sister Deanna and I drove from her home near Boston to the Borders Bookstore in Fairfield, Connecticut, where I did a Mamalita reading last evening. A big thank you to Borders store manager, Craig Kennedy, shown above, and his fantastic staff, as well as to everyone who attended.

The prize for farthest distance driven goes to the women from my building on Christopher Street, in Greenwich Village, NYC, where we lived during our early twenties. Heidi, Laura, Lisa, and Jenny: Thank you for making the evening so special. Afterwards, the group treated Deanna and me to a lovely dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant. We spent the hours laughing and catching up on our lives since the last time we’ve been together–a trip to New York in 2004, soon after Olivia first arrived in the U.S. 

Here I am with Janet Brogan, my sister Patrice’s college roommate, who also happens to be an adoptive mom. Janet suggested I read at the Borders in Fairfield and I’m so grateful she did: it was great to see her again, meet her book group friends in the audience (a few adoptive moms to daughters from China), and to spend some time in the warm atmosphere of the Borders Books in Fairfield.

Tonight, Thursday, at 7:30 p.m., I’m reading at the Beverly Public Library in Beverly, Massachusetts, and on Sunday, at 6 p.m., at the Borders Bookstore on Boylston Street in Boston. I’m loving my time spent on the East coast.

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Violence in Guatemala

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

Violence on public buses in Guatemala has increased as reported by Reuters photographer Daniel LeClair in this BBC post. In the past few years, some 450 bus drivers have been killed. LeClair writes:

“The scenes were chaotic and similar. A driver would be on his route, his bus full of passengers. Suddenly a young man would stand up, approach the driver shooting him at close range in the head, then jump off the moving bus to a waiting motorcycle.” …

“Gangs began to take hold in the 1990s, attracting impoverished and uneducated young men and women. Now they’ve become organized money-making enterprises, extorting businesses, including bus companies, for regular payments and assaulting people on the streets for cash. Narco traffickers have cemented their presence in Guatemala, taking advantage of the authorities’ inability to cope.” …

LeClair ends the article with this:

“I’ve been covering Central America for a decade – coups, riots, hurricanes and so on – but never seen violence like this. I have never seen so many innocent people caught in the middle. The tragedy is that Guatemala has so much to offer. It’s so beautiful and so full of wonderful people. As much as I love this place… the future here is very uncertain.”

Again, please read the entire article here.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/photoblog/2010/12/violence_in_guatemala_daniel_leclairs_story.html

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Ambassador Susan Jacobs in Guatemala to discuss adoption

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

The U.S. State Department announced that Ambassador Susan Jacobs will be in Guatemala from December 7 to 11 to discuss pending adoption cases. This is great news for the families whose adoptions have been on hold since adoptions from Guatemala closed in December 2007. Ambassador Jacobs will also discuss the future of adoptions from the country, a subject of great interest to many interested in international adoption. My personal hope is that  headway will be made toward establishing adequate safeguards in the system so that adoptions may someday be reopened. Read the article here.

“Special Advisor for Children’s Issues Ambassador Susan Jacobs will visit Guatemala December 7 – 11 for meetings on intercountry adoption. She will meet with government officials and nongovernmental adoption stakeholders to discuss the status of U.S. citizen adoption cases that have been pending since the suspension of new adoptions by Guatemala in 2007. She will also discuss Guatemala’s efforts to implement new intercountry adoption safeguards that would provide a path toward future adoption processing.”

http://www.state.gov/r/pa/prs/ps/2010/12/152441.htm

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Up next, Boston; and a book giveaway

Monday, December 6th, 2010

I just got the kids off to the bus stop and in a few minutes leave for SFO to fly to Boston. Luckily, my sister Deanna and her husband, David, and their three girls will be waiting for me on the other side. This means I can pack light, as Deanna will lend me anything I need to wear. One of the many, many benefits of having sisters.

In case you live in Boston or Fairfield, Connecticut and can join me at a reading, please click on the EVENTS tab above to check my schedule.

Mamalita is the subject of another book giveaway. This one is on Marjolein’s Book Blog. Click here for Marjolein’s review of the book, an interview with me, and details on how to enter. My fingers are crossed that you will win! 

Here’s a small excerpt from the review to entice you to read more.
Off to Boston!

Tell us a bit about how Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir was started. When did you know you wanted to write down your story about adoption? Seven years ago, I was living in Antigua, Guatemala with my then fifteen-month-old daughter, Olivia, whom my husband I and had been trying to adopt for a year. I wasn’t the only American would-be mother living there. We were a group of eight. And every day, as we sat around obsessing over our cases and a bureaucracy we couldn’t seem to navigate, the other mothers used to say, “Somebody needs to write a book about this.”

My entire life I’d been searching for the one story I had to tell. Even as I was living the experience, I knew Olivia’s adoption saga was it.

During the book, the reader gets a real good inside look on the adoption process in Guatemala. What surprised you the most about the adoption process, what turned out differently than you expected? What surprised me most about the adoption process is how varied it can be for different people. The paperwork is daunting for everybody, but if you’ve signed on with a good agency, the process is straightforward and relatively easy. If, on the other hand, you get involved with one that’s like ours, you better brace yourself for a bumpy ride.

I never expected to quit my job and move to Antigua and finish the adoption myself. I never dreamed I’d get an insider’s look at what goes on behind closed doors. What outraged me most was the degree to which the welfare of children is ignored, by allowing cases to go on and on for months or years on end. Every day that a child languishes in an orphanage or foster care, without one-on-one love and attention, is a day he will pay for later, physically and emotionally.

What have you enjoyed most about the adoption? My children—Olivia, now eight and Mateo, six. They are my reasons for living. I’ve also enjoyed being captivated by the country of Guatemala. It’s a complicated place, with a fascinating history. I’ve loved learning about it.

Can we expect more books by you in the future? I hope so. That’s the first step. Thank you for thinking positive!

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Thank you, adoption writers and bloggers

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

During the years I was writing Mamalita, I heard a lot of helpful advice about what to do and what not to do when writing a book. One of the most helpful lessons I learned was the importance of ignoring the critic on your shoulder as you sit in front of your computer, toiling, the one who whispers in your ear “You can’t do this,” or “No will want to read it,” or “You shouldn’t write that!

What I learned was that I had a story to tell. My job was to tell it.

But I must admit, there was a tiny part of me, a slim sliver of my subconscious, that worried how Mamalita would be received by the adoption community. Did any other adoptive mother feel the way I did, the first time I held my daughter in my arms? Was I the only person who became a screaming, hysterical lunatic when told her baby’s DNA test was lost? Did other parents feel a knife to the heart when their child didn’t recognize them as mommy or daddy? Would anyone out there relate to our story?

That’s why I was so happy when Adoptive Families magazine recommended Mamalita as a “richly written book, part thriller, part love story, part exposé… a cautionary tale.” Or when Lisa S. at Ouradopt.com said she “read it one breath.”

This week, two other adoption blogs for which I have enormous respect, American Mamacita and Creating a Family  weighed in. Kim of American Mamacita said:

“As I read along with Jessica’s adoption story of Olivia – including her epilogue in which she recounts locating Olivia’s first mom and their reunion and on-going contact – I could not help but compare our own kids’ adoption story and reinforce our plan to locate their other mom as well.

If a book makes you want to act, to advocate for transparency, or even ‘just’ to be more open and sensitive to your own kids’ adoption experience, that’s a book worth reading. And this is that kind of book.”

Finally, Dawn Davenport of Creating a Family chose Mamalita as the adoption book to give for the holidays. Dawn wrote:

“I loved this book because of the way O’Dwyer handled the ethics of international adoption. It is tempting as an adoptive parent to become defensive, to gloss over the ethical dilemmas inherent when wealthy people from developed countries adopt babies from poor people in undeveloped countries. It is equally tempting for ‘reformers’ to over simplify the ethics and the solutions. The reality is that often international adoptions are a blur where the white and black hats are not at all clear. O’Dwyer captures the gray with a refreshing lack of defensiveness or editorializing, allowing us to ponder what we would do if faced with the same situation.”

Oh, to be understood! Especially by people whose opinions I value. Thank you, thank you.

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