Archive for 2011

Guatemala Part 2: Tecun Uman and the legacy of the quetzal

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

By fortunate accident, we were in Panajachel on Monday, February 20, the festival day of Tecun Uman, a national hero in Guatemala. The honor seems bittersweet: K’iche leader Tecun Uman was slain in battle by Spanish conquistador Don Pedro de Alvarado, who had allied himself with the native Kaqchikel, enemies of the K’iche people. Tecun Uman’s death signified the end of autonomous rule by indigenous peoples in Guatemala. Here’s a snip from the New World Encyclopedia.

Tecún Umán (Tecún Umaán, Tecúm Umán, Tecúm Umam, or Tekun Umam) (c. 1500 – December 20, 1524) was the last ruler and king of the K’iche-Maya people, in the highlands of what is now Guatemala. According to the Kaqchikel annals, he was slain by Spanish Conquistador Don Pedro de Alvarado while waging battle against the Spaniards in the grasslands of El Pinal (Valley of Olintepeque) on February 20 1524. Tecún Umán is considered the most representative of his people for his bravery and dignity because he fought to protect his land and his people.

In the middle of November of 1523, the Estremaduran captain Don Pedro de Alvarado y Contreras had been sent on an important mission by Hernán Cortés to discover and conquer the lands south of Mexico. For this journey, Alvarado was given three hundred soldiers, a hundred and twenty archers and gunmen, one hundred and thirty five horsemen, and several hundred Cholutec and Tlaxcaltec allies… Alvarado allied himself with the Kaqchikel, who had long been bitter rivals of the K’iche’ nation.

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The legends say Tecún Umán entered battle adorned with precious quetzal feathers, and his nagual (animal spirit guide), also a quetzal bird, accompanied him during the battle. In the midst of the fray, both Alvarado and Tecún, warriors from worlds apart, met face to face, each with weapon in hand. Alvarado was clad in armor and mounted on his warhorse. As horses were not native to the Americas and peoples of Mesoamerica had no beasts of burden of their own, Tecún Umán assumed they were one being and killed Alvarado’s horse… He quickly realized his error and turned for a second attack but Alvarado’s spear pierced through his opponent’s chest and into his heart. It was then his nagual, filled with grief, landed on the fallen hero’s chest, staining its breast feathers red with blood, and thereafter died. From that day on, all male quetzals bear a scarlet breast and their song has not been heard since. Further, if one is to be placed in captivity, it would die, making the quetzal a symbol of liberty.

Tecún Umán was declared a National Hero of Guatemalan on March 22, 1960 and is celebrated annually on February 20…  He is also memorialized in a poem by Miguel Ángel Asturias that bears his name. In contrast to his popularity, he is at times rejected by Maya cultural activists who consider his status as a national hero a source of irony, considering the long history of mistreatment of Guatemala’s native population.

The children in one of the schools in Panajachel commemorated the day with a dance and parade, shown in the photos below. Here in Guatemala, so many indigenous people continue to struggle for basic sustenance–enough food, clean drinking water, a secure roof over their head, a permanent floor under their feet. The effects of Tecun Uman’s defeat linger.

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Guatemala in February 2011

Sunday, February 20th, 2011

We’ve been here only two full days, but it feels like a week. So much happens. There’s so much to process. At some point, I want to talk about visiting with Olivia’s birth family because I sense that so many readers of this blog are interested in the subject—either because they visit their children’s birth families, too, or because it’s something they may consider in the future.  But to be honest, the experience is so intense, I’m not sure how to frame it. Not only because I’m sensitive to the family’s privacy, and to Olivia’s, but also because every visit is so emotional—happy and sad, intensely so, both, sometimes in the same moment.

It’s now 10:30 at night on Sunday, and thank goodness for Spanish-language Discovery Kids on PBS. Olivia and Patrice are brushing up on their Spanish with Chica Super-Sabia, Lazy Town, and Mister Maker while I write this. We’re all exhausted.

So I thought I would post some photos from the start of our trip. The new La Aurora International Airport in Guatemala City—if you haven’t been back since 2004, you’d be amazed. The airport is finished, and it is beautiful. The photo at the top is of Olivia at the brand-spanking new luggage carousel. The photo below is of us at breakfast at the Camino Real with my sister and ace traveling companion, Tia Patrice.

Here we are in the lobby. The porter behind us has known Olivia since she was a baby.

I took the last photo on the road to Panajachel. A pit-stop in Tecpan at Katok is a must, even if you don’t take a detour to view the ruins at Iximche (and please do so if given the opportunity).  The photo here doesn’t do the place justice—you can’t smell the fragrant woodsmoke, or taste the delicious homemade pan integral and fresh berry jam. I wish you could.

Thanks for reading. Time to get some sleep. xoxo

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Here in Guatemala; and an article on the country’s “Family Planning Frontier”

Saturday, February 19th, 2011

We arrived in Guatemala late on Friday–my sister Patrice, Olivia, and I–and checked into (where else?) the Camino Real, the hotel where I met Olivia for the first time. Saturday morning we woke for a great breakfast, followed by a quick swim for Olivia and me, and then we were off to Antigua to catch the shuttle to Panajachel.

Right here I’ll pause for a commercial endorsement to recommend my friend and travel agent, Nancy Hoffman, founder of Guatemala Reservations, who made our arrangements. With Nancy’s help, everything was set up in advance, which I find essential when traveling in Guatemala, especially with children.

The shuttle ride, as always, was an adventure. People who travel to Guatemala are happy to be here, and we love sharing stories about where we’ve been and where we are headed. This past summer, heavy rains caused devastating landslides on the road to Panajachel and in surrounding areas. The damage has been cleared, although piled-up boulders and heavy machinery remain as evidence. We arrived in Pana with enough daylight to wander around for a few hours; afterwards, we settled on a chicken-and-french fries dinner at a restaurant we like. As we sat eating, a woman selling handicrafts approached us at our table. She introduced herself as the mother of eight children. On her back, in a sling, she carried her youngest baby, fifteen days old.

We’ll be in-country for a week, and I’ll write more about the trip, but this seems like the perfect opportunity to link to a great PBS NewsBlog by Ray Suarez, “Reporter’s Notebook: The Family Planning Frontier in Guatemala.” As our experience tonight demonstrates, family planning is a complex, layered subject in Guatemala, not easily summarized. But this article gives an excellent overview.  Suarez writes:

…After two years on the global health beat, I sometimes shake my head in wonder at how some of the most beautiful places on the planet can also be the hardest places to live.

Guatemala has one of the fastest population growth rates in the Western Hemisphere, about 2.4 percent a year. The population is pushing 14 million, and there is not enough arable land to support the rate of growth.

Our team from the NewsHour visited villages where it has long been common to have 8 to 10 children per family. Women made their way along rural roads or up hillside paths with one baby on their backs, a toddler in hand, and a four-year-old pulling up the rear.

Children are valued and loved here. At the same time, big families exact a tremendous toll. The maternal mortality rate – 240 deaths for every 100,000 live births, according to the World Health Organization— is the highest in Latin America. Malnutrition is epidemic. In highland indigenous communities the tiny stature of children and adults is not solely hereditary. The short supply of food guarantees for now that Guatemala will not see the gains in height and weight, or the children towering over parents, seen in newly prosperous places like South Korea and China.

However, encouraging families to reconsider what the optimal number of children might be is more complicated than a quick lesson in microeconomics. To enter into the Guatemalan dialogue on family planning means taking history, gender relations, and religion seriously, and requires consideration of how each shapes the debate.

Guatemala is a deeply religious country. Even those who are not active church-goers grow up surrounded by Christian worldviews. No longer monolithically Catholic, the country has seen the grown of a vibrant, elbows-out Evangelical presence, which accounts for at least a quarter of the population. The Catholic Church, with its profound, 500-year old roots, and the energetic, emotional worship and deep cultural conservatism, make Guatemala’s consideration of family planning a far different one from that of North America or Europe.

Abortion is viewed as a terrible sin. Birth control pills, intra-uterine devices and diaphragms are suspected of causing illnesses in the women who use them. Implanted, slow-release contraceptive chemicals are catching on, but they are expensive and provide only limited-duration protection. Condoms are unpopular among men, and discouraged by the Catholic Church, which only advocates natural methods for family planning.

Women often begin having children as teenagers in Guatemala, and continue with regular pregnancies into their 40s. At one mobile clinic I met a mother with eight children ranging in age from 28 years to 16 months. She said the last few births had taken an escalating toll on her body, and her husband agreed with her decision not to bear any more children.

Accompanying her that day at the clinic was her daughter-in-law with an 18-month-old. Both women had bandaged upper arms, where contraceptive implants were just inserted. The young mother wanted more children down the road, she explained, but thought it best to give her first child the best possible start in life by spacing her next pregnancy.

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We were told across the week that the acceptance of men was a vital part of making this all work. Big families confer status on proud fathers. That sense of pride discourages birth control, but contraception also has a darker side in the relations between men and women: When women try to get men to agree to their use of birth control methods, the men often accuse them of infidelity or promiscuity.

We visited the grave of a woman who died at 43 giving birth to what would have been her ninth child. Accompanying us to the graveside was the dead woman’s oldest daughter, Concepcion, and her husband, Diego. The couple said the death of the family matriarch did not cause them to reconsider their rejection of artificial birth control.

Please read the entire article here.

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Guatemala900 on FOXFiles; and the group known as the Kyrgyz 65.

Thursday, February 17th, 2011

The TV segment on FOXFiles in St. Louis, Missouri begins like this:

Imagine adopting a baby, but not being able to bring him home. For several hundred couples across the county, it’s a sad reality that has been going on for years, including Carri and Jason Kern of Wentzville. “We were told it would take 4 to 6 months for him to come home,” said Carri Kern, adding “it has been over 3 1/2 years.”

The have named him Hudson. He is still living Guatemala, which is where he was born. For a long time, adoptions from Guatemala were quick and easy, but the system there had become so corrupt, in 2007 the Guatemalan government shut it down, agreeing to grandfather in hundreds of couples whose adoptions were already in progress. And one of them was Hudson’s. But because of that past corruption, adoption judges there are under now such scrutiny they have made the process cloudy, unpredictable, and long.

The Kerns have been to Guatemala for court dates 13 times. “It is a very emotional attachment, seeing him every time. You can’t let go and you can’t stop fighting,” said Jason Kern.Though Hudson has never seen his new home, he knows it is waiting for him. He already calls Carri and Jason mama and papa. They talk on Skype, and visit him in person on special occasions like Christmases, and birthdays.

Readers of this blog recognize the Kerns as belonging to the Guatemala900, families who have been waiting for their adoptions to be finalized since adoptions closed in December 2007. It’s heartbreaking to watch the TV segment and see the Kerns stand in the cozy but empty bedroom they have prepared for their son, filled with toys and books and mobiles, and to listen as they verbalize their grief. 

I’ve recently been made aware of another group, known as the “Kyrgyz 65,” who also wait for their children. Gabrielle Shimkus found me on the Mamalita Facebook page and wrote: 

We received our referral in Aug. 2008. A little boy, 2 months old, with a cleft lip and palate. He was as frail as could be. We had all of our paperwork here in the US approved and our dossier in Kyrgyzstan. We went for our first visit in November 2008, and spent 2 full weeks with him, loving him.

It was only supposed to be one more month before we returned to go to Kyrgyz court and take him home with us for good, but that didn’t happen. One day the Kyrgyz government heard rumblings of people forging paperwork. It turns out to be vaguely true, but of another country, not ours. That day they decided their adoption laws were too easy and in one fell swoop got rid of every law on the books. They did not consider that there were 65 families in the immediate pipeline to adopt—families, like ours, who were weeks away from that one court hearing that would have allowed us to take our kids home. Their government refused to allow our adoptions to go forward because they no longer had the laws to finish them.

Still they dangled the carrot in front of us. “Just give us a few months. 6 months we promise. You will have your kids by Christmas.” They then placed a moratorium on international adoptions.

After months of hanging by a thread, the country elected a new president, who was the first female Asian president. She heard our pleas, told us to be patient. Months more went by.  A new Parliament was elected and we were promised our legislation would be one of the first to go through. It didn’t happen. The US State Department has been involved all along, but provide us with no concrete answers.

We are now 2 1/2 years since this tragedy began. The 65 families have a forum where we keep in daily contact with each other. We have contacted every Senator, Congressman, and person of influence we can think of. Some of the families have dropped off. 2 of the children have died waiting. Yes, 2 children are dead because they succumbed to illnesses treatable here in the US. It is horrible, beyond words.

The crazy thing is that all along they have said we can have our kids. Very few people are against this. They just don’t have the know-how to finish our process. Crazy to still hold on to hope when everytime it gets ripped out from under us. Still, no one will tell us “NO YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR KID.” Maybe if they did things would be different. Maybe some of the parents could heal and move on. But the carrot is still out there dangling. We get pictures every few months, and that is the closest we come.

How can you respond to an email like this one? Or to the TV segment about the Kerns? By sending positive thoughts and prayers and solidarity? The faithfulness of hopeful adoptive parents like Carri and Jason Kern and Gabrielle Shimkus and her husband, Frank, nearly flattens me. These are people dedicated to their children.

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Korea Herald on international adoption

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

Article about adoption in the Korea Herald, dated February 13, 2011:

Despite a falling birth rate here, many Korean children are still finding their home abroad, a report found Sunday.

Of the total 2,439 children adopted in 2009, 1,125 were sent abroad, slightly down from 1,250 in 2008, the Korea Institute for Health and Social Affairs said.

Adoptions have declined here along with the country’s falling birth rate.

Over the past 10 years, the number of domestic adoptions has decreased from 1,726 in 1999 to 1,314 in 2009, while that of international adoptions has almost halved from 2,409 in 1999.

However, the ratio of international adoption still remains high despite the government’s efforts to encourage domestic adoption.

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As reasons for hesitating to adopt a child, according to the institute, 32.1 percent of Koreans surveyed said that they are not sure whether they can love and raise the adopted child like their biological one, while 29.5 percent cited the nation’s family system based on blood ties.

Parents also pointed out financial difficulties (11.9 percent) and social prejudice toward adopted people (11.4 percent), the institute said.

Due to the still prevalent belief that a son carries on a family line, girls younger than three were most favored for adoption, while boys, older children and those with disabilities were less preferred.

Most parents who have adopted a child also said that a child’s health, gender and age were their priority to consider.

I find it interesting that nearly a third of Koreans polled said they are “not sure whether they can love and raise the adopted child like their biological one.” If a similar study were conducted in the United States, I wonder what that number would be.

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Mamalita on the Marshall Institute Blog

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

Here’s an excerpt from an interview with questions asked by playwright Allan Havis, provost of Thurgood Marshall College at UC San Diego. A Look at the Hardships of International Adoption: A Conversation with Jessica O’Dwyer, was posted on the Marshall Institute Blog on February 14, 2011.

Click here to read the interview in its entirety.

Mamalita, your new well reviewed book, shows an American woman’s quest to adopt a baby girl despite an amazing series of hurdles in Guatemala.  Was it cathartic to put this personal story down on paper?

Very much so. When I came home from Guatemala, my husband was convinced I was suffering from a form of post-traumatic stress. I panicked at unexpected things—for example, seeing my address listed in a directory—because I was afraid someone bad was after me. Writing allowed me to get the story out of myself. It gave me perspective and distance.

You actively correspond with the birth mother of your child.  How does that impact your parenting and your dialogue with your child?

Since searching for and meeting Olivia’s birth mother, “Ana,” a Maya widow who speaks K’iche and some Spanish, I have much greater insight into my daughter’s cultural and genetic personality traits. Olivia’s stillness and self-containment, for example—I recognize those traits as coming from Ana, and from her Maya roots. Meeting Ana has given a new calmness to Olivia. There’s no longer a mystery at her core. She knows who she is, and where she comes from. I describe it as a circle being closed. We talk by cell phone and visit once a year. Every family is different, but for us, an international, open adoption works. I recommend it.

The 2003 film by John Sayles, Casa de los Babys, depicts several American women waiting out their residency requirements in order to adopt in an unnamed Latin American nation.  Did the film accurately convey the world of what you experienced firsthand?

The emotions of longing, and fear, and helplessness felt very familiar. The details were different—we had no residency requirement although I lived in Antigua for six months, and the solution was not as simple as the one depicted—but the passion felt the same. I loved that movie.

How do celebrities like Angelina Jolie and Madonna misdirect the perception about international adoptions?

They make it look so easy! And, I assure you, it’s not. That aside, I applaud both women for raising awareness of international adoption, and keeping it on the front page. Today, in the world, there are some100 million children living without permanent families or homes. If Angelina Jolie and Madonna inspire people to care about the fate of those children, more power to them.

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Grateful Dead guitarist Bob Weir on being adopted and meeting his birth father

Monday, February 14th, 2011

My brother sent me this link to an article about Grateful Dead guitarist and founding member Bob Weir, who was adopted, and grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. The article appears to date from some years ago, but I’ve never seen it before. I loved reading it and hope you do, too. The article begins:

Both my natural and adopted fathers were military men. My adopted dad attended Annapolis for seven years and came out with the military equivalent of a doctorate in Engineering. When they gave him his first commission and put him out to sea he was seasick from the time he left port to the time he got back. It was so bad they had to put him in the hospital. Then he tried it again right at the beginning of World War II. He wanted nothing more than to serve his country but it just was not going to happen. He showed a lot of perseverance. He was quite a guy. In fact, never in my presence did he ever use bad language. Rarely did I see him ever become angry, and it was not that he wasn’t a lively, energized person, he was just a consummate gentleman…

My natural father was born and raised in the Tucson, AZ area. He was 19 when he joined the Air Force and they put him behind the wheel of a bomber. He later became a test pilot and rose to the rank of Colonel. In fact, when he announced he was retiring, they offered him a Generalship but he declined because he had a son who was terminally ill.

My adopted parents passed on in 1972 from separate illnesses. My mom died on my dad’s birthday and a month later my dad died on my mom’s birthday.  So you don’t argue with that kind of stuff. Then about ten years went by and I came home from a tour and it was my first night home and I was trying to sleep in. I had this very strange dream about my family home, my brother and a stillborn baby. And at the point of the dream where my brother and I pick up the baby and hold it, and each other, I was awakened by the phone ringing in real life. It was the Grateful Dead office calling to say there was a lady on the phone by the name of Phyllis who says she’s your mother and did I know anything about this. Apparently she had known for some time who I was and had tracked me, but had to sign a promise not to contact me while my adopted parents were still living. 
  
I myself had actually done some research to try and find her but she pretty effectively covered her tracks. But I went and met her the next day and unfortunately we did not exactly hit it off ­ she had twelve other kids. So I could ascertain with a fair bit of ease that she didn’t really have a need for me in her life. But I kept in touch with her, called her on Mother’s day and over this time she gave me some information regarding my dad; his name and where she last saw him which at that point was 40+ years. (more…)

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MAMA MANIFESTO Mamalita giveaway

Sunday, February 13th, 2011

The fabulous blog, Mama Manifesto, is giving away two free copies of Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir.

Check out the SUNDAY GIVEAWAY and enter today~

Thank you to the wonderful bloggers at Mama Manifesto!

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Another Espresso Please says Mamalita shows “the good, the bad, the ugly”

Saturday, February 12th, 2011

People outside the adoption community may not realize how contentious the subject is within the community. This review of Mamalita by blogger “Coffeemom” at “Another Espresso Please“–self-described as a mother to eight, through birth and adoption, both domestic and international–explains:

Now, to be honest, I wasn’t sure about this book to start.  Obviously, I am an adoptive mom and have adopted here in the states as well as internationally, from Ethiopia.  That makes my family a multiracial, multicultural blended up  mix of people.  It also makes me place adoption and adoption issues pretty high on my personal radar.  All this is to say that I had kind of tangentially followed the roller coaster of the adoption world in Guatemala over the  years, but from afar (no pun intended), and I was a little hesitant to read this memoir.  I feared a skewed perspective or an unfair or romanticized treatment of what was and is still an extremely complicated, layered, and challenging topic.  International adoption is not for the faint of heart, nor is it for the unscrupulous.   You must have hard eyes to see and hold a steady gaze at the roller coaster of process; making sure along the way that your desires are jiving with foundational ethics, preferably those laid out by the Hague Convention.

So, with that disclaimer and mindset, I began.  I found this book honest and compelling… It took me a bit to come to a kind of reading rapport for the author, largely due to my aforementioned guard regarding Guatemalan adoptions.  However, as the story continued I found myself appreciating her honesty and the clear eyes she used to see and describe both the beauty and the hardships in Guatemalan adoption.

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Mamalita is an honest, frank retelling of the Guatemalan adoption process: the good, the bad, the ugly. It is a book that might well engender some controversy in this heated climate of international adoption.  If only because of that, it is worth a read.   It shows us the near precipice where desire, desperation, and truth stand and take stock of each other. I still think about this book because it reveals the complexities of this difficult process, adoption, and it’s not a comfortable thing; nor should it be.  O’Dwyer shows us the heart of a mother, in this case, an adoptive mother and how she will literally go the distance and move the map of her home to go get her child.

It sounds like an oxymoron to say this, but I am passionate about moderation. I believe in balance, thoughtfulness, and the ability to consider an issue from all sides. Thank you, Coffeemom, for recognizing this quality in my writing. I’m grateful.

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Valentines to Guatemala

Thursday, February 10th, 2011

Having worked in PR in my former life, I was happy to see a press release about the Guatemala900 posted on PRWeb,  a site that provides story ideas and information to news media outlets. The title tells it all: Valentines to Guatemala: Heavy-hearted US Adoptive Families Reach out to the Guatemalan Children they Desperately Love and Wait For.

February 14, 2011 will mark the fourth Valentine’s Day, at a minimum, for hundreds of US families awaiting the homecoming of their adoptive children from Guatemala. The Guatemala900, a family initiated campaign dedicated to bringing home the hundreds of children caught in a political nightmare, is hosting a heart-wrenching collection of expressions of love this month. In the spirit of Valentines Day, the entire month of February will be devoted to showcasing love letters written by the adoptive families to their waiting children. A daily valentine will be posted from a waiting family: http://www.guatemala900.org

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All those associated with Guatemala900 believe in the sanctity of family and promote fair and ethical adoption practices. Families are committed to the children of Guatemala; they are proud of their heritage and embrace the beauty of their country of origin. Families entered into these adoptions in good faith with the expectation that their rights to a fair adoption process and their adoptive children’s rights to a family would be protected and honored by the U.S. and Guatemalan Governments.

On the day that celebrates love, I hope this story receives the media coverage it deserves.

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